


Effervescence

by sekyo_2862



Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Arranged Marriage, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Light Angst, Living Together, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, One Big Happy Family, Same-Sex Marriage, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:48:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 29,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25646851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sekyo_2862/pseuds/sekyo_2862
Summary: He Tian has never been one to settle. He could never commit, never remain idle. But at the age of 25 he realizes how tired he really is of his lifestyle and how distracting himself in every way possible does nothing to remedy his loneliness. He wants stability but doesn't know how to achieve it until his brother suggests that he has an arranged marriage. Suddenly the alpha has hope that this might be able to slow him down.Guan Shan has been working constantly ever since he left college. But his financial situation only gets more difficult with his mother unable to work. Guan Shan spreads himself thin over several jobs, the few that he can find as an omega, to support the household. At the highest point of fatigue, he gets an offer to enter an arranged marriage with the second heir of a massive company. Fuelled by tiredness and desperation, he agrees.Over an initially awkward period of time, they learn to become each other's comfort.
Relationships: He Tian & Mo Guanshan (19 Days), He Tian/Mo Guanshan (19 Days), Jian Yi/Zhan Zhengxi (19 Days)
Comments: 193
Kudos: 1035





	1. yuán fèn

**Author's Note:**

> some exposition on he tian's character in this fic and his side of the story. i'll do the same for guan shan next chapter.  
> it will get much more light hearted so please stick with me here ^_^

_**yuán fèn - ‘the mysterious force that causes two lives to cross paths in some meaningful way.’** _

He Tian slipped further down his seat as his brother paced in front of him, voice raised to lecture him about his terrible public image. The dark-haired boy was well aware that he wasn't exactly a model citizen but it didn't bother him and most of the time he tried not to be on purpose. At first, his rebellious streak stemmed from resentment of his largely absent father who somehow controlled his life through a variety of subordinates. He was the second heir to the impressive He Corporation but this fact had no importance in He Tian's mind.

His father, an impressive man for founding and raising a company to such a considerable point, had been He Tian's main excuse ever since his teen years. He learned how to resent his father and brother on occasion for everything in his life. The little amount of childish wonder and excitement that He Tian held had long since been snuffed out by a strict father and equally parental figured brother. It had been him against the world, and he realized this quick enough to hate everyone who had any connection to his father.

He had figured out the pattern. To get anyone's attention, he had to be disobedient. At first, when he started in his teens to do minor things like skip classes, vandalize walls and get into pointless fights, his father would lecture him for hours about discipline and manner but even still it was the only time He Tian saw him otherwise.

Sometime around when He Tian was 17, his father stopped caring and his brother reprimanded him infrequently. It was also around this time that He Tian grew out of wanting his father's attention and approval when he began to resent how he pined for it to begin with. Now He Tian was rebellious and boisterous all on his own because he couldn't exactly suddenly become a model child. Now he got into fights out of boredom to expel the pent up angry energy he always carried.

His time in high school passed in a blur of fights, sex, and anything illegal. He had been kicked out at 18 and given an apartment which was far too big but at least no one was around to scold him. His father suddenly visited him one day to notify him that he would be moving abroad for college. He Tian figured out soon enough that the media had finally started paying attention to the second heir of the company now that he was an adult accountable for his actions.

Of course, he protested and fought but there was no winning with his father and he knew this already. He had just wanted to rile him up. His time in college was worse at the beginning before He Tian finally felt the always present anger in his system slowly leave his mind. College was a good time for He Tian, a healing time. No one was helping him heal per se but he'd started to leave his juvenile behaviors behind and grow out of his bad habits. He was still as straightforward and loud as he'd always been but even his brother had been able to pick up on the new sense of maturity that He Tian exuded.

He Tian's father passed away from medical issues in the first year that he was back in China and he was affected in a way but it was hard to miss someone who had only ever met He Tian a handful of times. The funeral was a grand affair that He Tian strongly disliked for bringing him back in the favor of the media.

Although the constant need to rouse his father had disappeared and taken with it some of his more obscene behaviors, He Tian had an insatiable sexual appetite that was the media's favorite hobby to track. He Tian had always hidden his "daddy issues" behind a perfect mask of arrogance and charmingness. Conveniently this mask of his was highly attractive to most people he met.

If the media paid attention to anyone as attractive as He Tian they were bound to find that they too had a thriving sex life, but their attentions were on him and it was making the company look bad every week that he caused a new scandal.

His brother, perpetually tired with He Tian's behavior was now trying to lecture the sex drive out of him and much to He Tian's dismay it was working. It's not like he wasn't tired himself of getting so much shit about sleeping with someone's favorite actor or actress. But once the burning need to be disobedient had left him a while ago, he aimed to fill the hole of boredom and loneliness with the most convenient thing to him.

He turned back into He Cheng's firm voice. "He Tian, please focus on your job. I didn't appoint you at such a high position for you to waste it like this. You cannot keep pawning off things to your team to do for you, it is wrong and this will bring up a hundred issues with HR."

He Tian just shrugged, not having a response to that. His job did not interest him in the slightest, having only been appointed there cause He Cheng thought it would help He Tian do something productive with his time.

"Clearly, it has not worked to distract you with a job. He Tian." He called his name firmly like he was about to confess something He Tian would not want to hear.

"What?" He Tian muttered gruffly, doubting that He Cheng could solve the issue of his ever-present boredom when he himself had turned up nothing for years.

"I want you to get married."

He Tian laughed, loudly, and unashamedly. He stood up to face He Cheng. They were both purebred alphas of the same height so He Tian felt no intimidation in confronting his brother.

"You must be joking brother." He Tian laughed, but obliged in a condescending tone, "And just who do you think I can get married to?"

If He Tian was being on honest, a little flutter of hope had wormed its way into his head. He'd certainly never thought of such a solution before and evaluating it in his mind, it didn't seem like that bad of an idea.

"An omega male. You went to high school together. Father had arranged the marriage when you and the boy were much younger. His father and ours were partners and friends. I didn't think I would ever entertain the thought of going through with such a forgotten promise but, let us be real He Tian, you need to settle down, you need stability right now."

He Tian couldn't really argue with that, and this ancient unknown marriage arrangement intrigued him more than anything had in a while.

"We went to high school together you say? What is his name?"

He Cheng didn't answer in favor of going around to his desk and picking up a brown folder on it. He handed it to He Tian with a pleading look.

He Tian furrowed his eyebrows and pulled a paper out of the folder. There was an old-looking picture of the boy attached to it and a quick scan of the sheet revealed his name. Mo Guan Shan.

He Tian barely bit back a gasp at the sight of the boy who had almost nearly stolen his heart in high school. He cleared his throat to regain some composure and tucked the picture into his pocket quietly.

He looked his brother dead in the eye and said as casually as he could manage to, "Yeah sure. I'll get married to him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :) 
> 
> comment and kudos if you likey


	2. yugen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mo guan shan backstory time!  
> when i wrote this chapter it turned out to be 3000 words so i had to split it up into two parts 
> 
> ik we all want some he tian/ guan shan interaction but my dumbass can't stick to the plan  
> dw tho cause the third chapter's already written out and i'll post it as soon as i edit it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also thaannkss holy shit thanks for all the reads omfg wow thanks just wow  
> the comments made me so motivated that when I read them this morning I just started writing the next chapter right away 
> 
> THANKS PEEPS :))

_**yugen -“A profound, mysterious sense of the beauty of the universe…and the sad beauty of human suffering.”** _

Rain pattered down on Guan Shan's head with no intention of stopping any time soon. He hopped clumsily and unbalanced, weighed down by shopping bags, to avoid muddy puddles. It had been the time of the month when all three of his part-time jobs paid him and he bulk bought groceries at the local markets for the next few weeks. Buying things in bulk was always cheaper, he'd learned long ago.

Guan Shan had always been as thrifty as this. He hadn't had any choice back then and he had less of a choice now. His mother had been unstable and couldn't bear the helpless feeling of not being able to save her husband from jail. He had only been a young boy then, but he quickly learned he had an aptitude for cooking. Or maybe he'd forced himself to have an interest in cooking because he was the only way food came on the table. Back then the government had been giving them a small amount of money, so the rent had been getting paid. There was a period of difficulty right after Guan Shan's father had left, but his mother was a strong woman and could not bear leaving the household affairs to her middle-school son.

Things got so much better for Guan Shan when his mother got a job, fortunately enough they were hiring omegas. They had at least one steady income in the house, as small as it was. But they could make it by, Guan Shan refused to let his mother cook. He would get up early, earlier than his mother who woke up at 7 AM and make breakfast for the two of them. After doing it for so long he knew how to be resourceful with a few ingredients, and also how to ignore expiration dates. He packed lunch for his mom and himself and when he got back him after school, prepared dinner and went to sleep.

His battle scars in a sense were about a dozen red burn marks on his forearms from accidentally touching the rims of pans. It is not like he minded much. To Mo Guan Shan life had always been keeping his family together. And with his dad gone it felt like his mom and him against the harsh realities of the world. All throughout high school and middle school, he worked his butt off to keep them afloat. It was getting harder and harder though.

The minute he reached high school he picked up multiple jobs. He had kneeled for so many people in his life to offer a job to an underage omega. It was difficult, but it had always been. A day didn't pass that Guan Shan did not collapse on his bed with aching feet and a throbbing back.

He tried his best to pass high school with a decent grade but in that busy time of his life, he couldn't achieve much. He was spread thin over too many things to sit down and focus on studying. Predictably enough he got involved with some bad people out of desperation for a shady job, but they left his mother alone at least.

There was one day in the last year of high school that a fat envelope appeared on his doorstep. He had almost thrown it aside, thinking it was just a stressful stack of bills, but his eye caught the writing on the front. In thick black marker, someone had written, "Please use it." Overcome with curiosity Mo Guan Shan opened the envelope only for it to fall from his hands to the floor.

At first glance, Mo Guan Shan thought it had been a stack of money bills but as the sheets of paper spread out on the floor, spilling in abundance from the envelope he realized it was cheques. Cheques with almost scary amounts written on them. He gasped for air and fell to the floor next to the money. It took him about fifteen minutes to gather his thoughts before looking into the envelope. There was so much money that Mo Guan Shan's head spun. Along with the money were two other pieces of paper. The first one he unfolded instructed how to use the money.

It planned out amounts from Mo Guan Shan's college to the rent on their house, food, appliances, and enough money leftover that his mother did not have to work. It was all written in a neat, almost printed-looking handwriting. His heart continued to pound in his chest as he skimmed over the financial plan for him and his mom. He could point out a few things they didn't need like a bathtub, that the anonymous sender had urged they buy, but mostly he was so overcome with gratefulness that he began hyperventilating. The other sheet of paper was folded up and on it was written: "To Mo Guan Shan". He laughed, because Oh my God it's not some terrible mistake, the money is meant for mom and me.

He was not foolish enough to reject it, but he became very paranoid and made a quick trip to the bank to open an account to store all the money in. It was the first time the amount in his bank account was more than three digits. Walking home he entertained the thoughts that the money may have been stolen, but it didn't seem so. Mo Guan Shan had not been happy for a while, or maybe he didn't have the time to be, but he felt himself smile wider than he ever had. He ran home to his mother and they freaked out over the money for hours together.

After putting his mother to sleep he went over the letter he had opened first. Turning on the dim light next to his study table he reviewed the financial plan. There was a lot of this that he would follow. There were small arrows next to some items on the plan that lead to tiny notes. Mo Guan Shan laughed at them and wanted nothing more than to meet the person who wrote them and thank them. Next to an item that said "College for Guan Shan" was a long note that read: _"Not to be used for anything but college. Here's a list of colleges with a good culinary program."_ There was a shortlist of colleges and some had been highlighted with side notes that read, "scholarship available".

Mo Guan Shan actually blushed. If he didn't think about how creepy it was that this person knew so much about him and his life, it was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him. The effort that whoever this angel was had gone through for him. He had not just given them money but had also given them so much valuable information as if they knew that Mo Guan Shan would freak out and not know how to spend such a large amount.

He only reddened further when he read the other letter addressed to him specifically. He tucked it into his ratty wallet and fell asleep for the first time without the restless feeling that had always followed him.

For the next four years of his life, everything had been great. Better than great. They had managed to buy the small apartment, which was also Mo Guan Shan's childhood home. It was enough for them, and now that they did not have to stress over rent every month, Guan Shan's general demeanor and attitude, greatly improved. He had always been a fiery little boy, red hair to match his scowling face, angry at the world for the fate that he had been given.

But now, with their own house, he was a homeowner and he still marveled over the fact every day, he had so many fewer worries. He could afford to buy them meat every weekend. He did not ever stop working. He quit two of his jobs but kept two just in case. He was still preparing for the worst-case scenario when all the money in his bank account suddenly disappeared.

At first, he had been reluctant about actually going to college as the letter suggested, it had always seemed like a waste of time to him when he could be working instead. But maybe he had always secretly wanted to go. It took him a good amount of time to decide where to go but his mom sat with him through the whole process, she couldn't have been more excited at the fact that Mo Guan Shan could go to college

Without math in his syllabus, Guan Shan thrived in classes. It was a culinary course after all, and he had essentially been preparing his whole life for this. He hadn't got the scholarship, but there was still enough money to support him for four years. More than enough. He made acquaintances, still a bit too focused on his mother to bother making real friends or indulging in the social scene at his university.

The four years passed easily and when Guan Shan graduated, first in his class, he was offered real employment. The contract he had been offered asked him to join a medium-sized company as a nutritionist. He started at the very bottom when he joined, but his talent was hard to ignore, and soon enough he was making a comfortable amount. It wasn't a lot but it was alright for him.

Guan Shan’s life at 24 had been a dream he didn’t think he would ever be able to achieve. A dream that perhaps, he would not be able to sustain for much longer.


	3. komorebi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more mo guan shan inner monologue time  
> next chapter they meet yas finally  
> this is a bit, very long

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANKS WOW  
> the comments thanks guys y'all are so nice and supportive and omg thanks  
> please keep leaving them yess :)

**_komorebi - the sunlight that filters through the leaves of a tree_ **

It was only when he turned 25, that things started to go south. His mom got diagnosed with brain cancer and the company he was working for went bankrupt. The city council wanted to tear their building down and started leaving notices for them to evacuate the building. Everything happened so fast that Guan Shan felt himself descend into the same angry aura he had always carried before things got better. It had taken him four years of college to calm himself down and look at life more positively but everything was crashing back down on him again. 

The pressure was almost too much for Guan Shan. He had to set his priorities, he had to make a plan because there was nothing in the existing one that accounted for any of this. First, his mother, a huge amount of the money in that bank account he'd opened years ago went towards helping her. He didn't have time to waste applying for jobs and going for interviews so he picked up three part-time jobs. The money left wouldn't be able to support them for much longer. He tried to find a stable job in the rare moments of free time he had but he'd already failed three interviews. The only salvation was that the council had decided to back off their building meaning that Guan Shan would not have to pull his hair out to find them somewhere else to stay. 

It was half-way into the hellish year when another envelope came. This one didn't have money in it, it was long and flat. There was no address on the envelope, no writing either. It didn't seem like it was from his wonderful benefactor. His mother was staying in the hospital, for the time being, so Guan Shan was alone on the kitchen table. 

This couldn't be an envelope that carried good news, but already stressed to the max, he didn't think this would be able to faze him. He sighed and pulled out two sheets of paper. One had a fancy logo printed on expensive looking paper. The other looked like it was the details of someone's identity. He read the letter first: 

_Mr. Mo Guan Shan,_

_I am He Cheng, the CEO of the He Corporation. You may have heard that our previous CEO and my father passed away recently. As I was going through his belongings I found that he was partners in business and close friends with your father. I am sorry for your situation._

_It seems that in half-seriousness, they had arranged a marriage agreement between you and my younger brother. He is an alpha male and the second heir to the company. He has been abroad for the past four years for education, but now that he has been back for a year, it seems that marriage is an urgent matter._

_My husband is an alpha like me and we cannot produce a child to inherit the company, and coming across this marriage agreement seemed like the solution had come to me. My brother as well is quite lost, a marriage would do him some good._

_Perhaps you do not remember him, but he was a fellow batchmate of yours in high school. I have attached a sheet of his information and a picture. I hope he has not left too much of a bad reputation on you. I cannot promise that he is the perfect person, but I urge you to consider this proposal unbiased._

_There is no pressure about accepting this. If we receive no reply from you in two weeks we will assume that you have turned it down. If I may sway your decision in any way, we will pay your mother's hospital bills and provide you with employment in our company. My brother and you will have a house in both your names as well. If you agree to this arrangement then the only condition on our side is that you live with him there._

_Please consider this favorably, thank you for your patience in reading this. You may send a mail to the address on the card to negotiate any terms you want and we hope to hear from you soon._

_He Cheng_

The first thing that struck Mo Guan Shan was how contractual the proposition seemed. If he hadn't already seen the largely recognizable logo of the company on top he would have definitely assumed a businessman wrote this. 

As if suddenly realizing what the actual content of the letter implied Mo Guan Shan set it down on the table and closed his eyes. He let out a deep sigh like all the world's troubles had fallen upon his shoulders. Currently, he was not in the right mind to think about this rationally. He simply slipped the sheets back into the envelope and left it there on the table. 

He trudged to his room and in a matter of minutes was fast asleep. He no longer had trouble going to sleep. He remembered how he stayed up till 3 AM doing nothing but sitting around his room, staring at the ceiling, his mind unwilling to take a break. There was no time for that anymore, any minute Guan Shan could sleep he would. He really couldn't bear to stay awake for longer when his body so desperately needed rest. 

He'd been doing this in high school as well before the money had come but this time around it was harder. It was harder because Mo Guan Shan had had a chance at a good, normal life. A chance that he lost, not from his own incompetency but in the same cruel way that fate had always dealt with his life. Snatching things that he loved away. 

The next morning he woke up at 11, Sunday being his only half-break day to sleep in. Without his mom in the house, his routine was significantly easier. He made his bed, washed his face, brushed his teeth, and started cleaning up around the house. Although the fact that he was an omega had been cause for great anxiety in his life till this point, also causing him to adopt such a prickly personality, he had to admit that he was as domestic as they come. 

He had just reached the kitchen to fix himself a slice of toast when last night's abandoned envelope taunted him from the dining table. Mo Guan Shan blinked a few times and mentally prepared himself to read the letter again. He quietly grumbled to no one before pulling it open for the second time. 

This time as he read, his brain focused on the more significant aspects of it. Like the fact that he would be provided the employment that he was in great need of. His mother's outrageous hospital bills would be paid and he'd have a house? He wasn't sure how he felt about the last incentive he'd been offered, but a roof was a roof and it occurred to Guan Shan that perhaps it would be a house that wasn't under constant pressure from the council. 

Whoever he would hypothetically be getting married to had to be a billionaire. Even though Guan Shan rarely found himself watching the news, he was aware of the sheer size of the company being mentioned. 

If he could simply ignore the one sentence on the sheet that scared him straight he would really be considering this but, not it was ridiculous. It was ridiculous Guan Shan thought, he would be expected to produce a child for the sake of having an heir. The red-head physically shivered at the thought. For starters, he was a virgin. Every time his heats came around he dealt with them himself. When he could afford to he'd bought suppressants but before that he'd just let the pain take him over, whimpering in the bed of his locked bedroom. 

Guan Shan's mind whirled with a million possibilities. Now that he was thinking about his heats, what would happen if he was in the same house as an alpha when he got it, what if he became pregnant. He wouldn't be able to work then, what would he do for his mother. No wait, these people said they'd take care of his mother, but how could he trust them. The letter had seemed like a genuine last resort though, whoever wrote it really hoped for a positive response, but could Guan Shan even fathom the thought of being married to a stranger. 

Oh right, the stranger itself. He had information on him. He reached into the envelope to pull out the second sheet and the business card at the bottom. Mo Guan Shan got the second biggest shock of his life, following the day he'd been handed a shit ton of money. The very first line read "HE TIAN". There was a picture attached, of the tall, muscular alpha in an unnecessarily tight-fitting suit. He was smirking at the camera like he knew he would make you wet your pants. 

Mo Guan Shan only snorted at it and then laughed. Of course, it was He Tian. Even in high school, he'd always known that the boy was rich, he couldn't have not had some influence to pass highschool even though he showed up twice a month. Guan Shan knew him of course, so apparently, it wasn't a stranger anymore. The fact strangely comforted him. If he married He Tian of all people, he would be the last of his priorities. Without the watchful eye of a normal alpha husband, Guan Shan would have a relative amount of freedom. Of course, these were all assumptions.

Guan Shan looked at the picture and realized how much He Tian had actually grown, of course, the same childish mischievousness was on his face, but there was also more serious. His jawline had sharpened more than Guan Shan had thought possible for the human species, and somehow he looked ... larger? He looked definitely more mature in a suit than his casually worn school uniform. That was the only image of He Tian in his head that he could compare to. He seemed more like a man now and less like a boy, which of course he was but personally Guan Shan never thought he would outgrow it. 

They hadn't known each other too personally in high school either. They met rarely on the roof of the school to cut class together, where they smoked cigarettes in silence. He Tian would occasionally hit on him, he suddenly remembered, with that devilish smile that entailed so much playfulness that Guan Shan could almost see the horns coming from his head. But then again, he had never seen He Tian not flirt with, well, anyone. It was like being a flirt was his only state of being. He was always charming, whether he liked the person he was talking to or not. 

Similar to Guan Shan, He Tian had always run around with the wrong people and frequently got into fights. Guan Shan vaguely remembered them fighting alongside each other against god knows who and laughed at the angry fire that both of them seemed to have in their teen years. Looking at the picture, He Tian had certainly grown up and out of it, as had Guan Shan. 

Before Guan Shan could catch up with his brain, he was picking up the card and dialing the number, forget an email, he couldn't bother with writing it. The phone rang only two times before it was picked up by a timid sounding boy. 

"Uh yes, He Corporation, this is He Cheng's secretary, what is your message?" 

Guan Shan simply said, "Give him the phone please, tell him it is Mo Guan Shan."

It took only thirty seconds of waiting before a gruff voice sounded down the phone. It sounded strangely similar to He Tian's but with a deeper tone of seriousness, "Mr. Guan Shan, have you made a decision? Or is this about something you find unfair with the conditions? I have drawn up a contract that I can send over to you." 

"I simply called to inform you that I accept. I accept on two conditions, would you care to negotiate?" 

"Yes, of course, I will consent to anything in my ability." 

"One, my mother should be comfortably taken care of. That is my highest priority at the moment." 

"You needn't ask for this, we will be more than willing." He Cheng's voice was starting to sound hopeful and Mo Guan Shan wondered just how much He Tian actually needed a husband. 

"Very well. Secondly, neither you nor He Tian should expect me to bear a child for at least five years. I will be thirty by the time I am willing to discuss having a child and that is certainly not an infertile age for omegas, but I hope you respect that I will not bear child any time sooner than that." 

There was a long pause over the line, and Mo Guan Shan stood patiently listening to static while he assumed He Cheng was doing calculations. There was an inhale of air and then He Cheng returned to the receiver. 

"That is certainly possible, Mr. Guan Shan." 

"Then I guess we have ourselves a deal. Send over the contract please, and if you could also send over a list of what I'll be expected to do for publicities sake." 

He Cheng let out what sounded like a relieved sigh and addressed Guan Shan in a voice that did not exactly sound ecstatic but was probably all the excitement that the serious man was capable of. "As soon as possible. Is there anything else Guan Shan?" He suddenly dropped the formality. 

"Yes actually. Set up a meeting for me with He Tian before the wedding and ... send me his phone number if he is willing to share it." 

"Will do. Thank you so much, truly I am grateful. He Tian is mature now but much of the same lost childishness remains in him. I worry." 

"I cannot assure you that my being with him will help but we can try I suppose. He always has been a bit stubborn." 

He Cheng chuckled quietly, "Certainly has."

When the phone cut Mo Guan Shan immediately ran over to the sofa and sank into it. He put an arm over his eyes and laughed at himself as he felt the sunlight of midday hit his forehead. He thought he'd be nervous now that his marriage was technically solidified, but all he felt was relief, for his mom and him and the second try they had at an improved life. 

There was a slight tingle of excitement that pulled on the corner of his lips but Guan Shan wasn't ready to acknowledge that just yet.


	4. koi no yokan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they meet ? and maybe it's cute?  
> idk I rewrote this too many times and idk if i like what I've ended up with but  
> I REALLY HOPE U GUYS LIKE IT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guyyys the comments are so wonderful thank you. you guys are so insightful and smart and nice and make me feel so good about my average writing skills. 
> 
> i would like to shout out "Poem By Day" for your super nice comments on the previous chapter and the chapter before that. i'm really glad you were able to pick up on some of the things that i didn't explicitly write out. and aghhh everyone else's comments are brilliant too
> 
> sorry this note is so long, enjoy the chapter :))

**_koi no yokan -_ _“The feeling upon meeting someone that falling in love with them is inevitable.”_ **

Mo Guan Shan hadn't the slightest idea what to wear. A problem that strangely came to him for the first time in his 25 years alive. Just what exactly does one wear to meet their future husband? 

After Guan Shan had hastily agreed to the marriage, that didn't yet feel real in his mind, He Cheng had set an appointment with scary urgency as if he was expecting Guan Shan to snap out of it. There was simply no reason for him to even think about backing out though. 

Within 24 hours of accepting He Cheng's proposal, his mom had been moved to a much larger but more private hospital room and was swiftly acquainted with a whole team of doctors dedicated to helping her. Of course Mo Guan Shan had visited her that day to explain the situation and contrary to his expectations it was a whole emotional ordeal. 

His mother's weak hands cupped his face lovingly and stared deeply into his eyes, allowing tears to fall from her own. She had felt apologetic that this was what Guan Shan had to resort to, and not only for that but for stealing his childhood. He had grown up too fast, a full adult, only aged 14 who ran the house on his own. Guan Shan hugged her reassuringly and stroked her back and she cried silently against her son that had held the weight of the world on his shoulders just for her. 

Guan Shan's eyes pricked with bitter tears as he recalled the long conversation they had after. He shook the thoughts out of his head and turned his face back up to the mirror. He still didn't have a clue what to wear. He had never been one to care much about style so now he was completely left in confusion. 

_Okay, jeans. Jeans are good. Let's put those on._ He hopped around on each foot as he tugged his least faded pair of blue jeans up till his waist. Crap, he'd lost weight, there was space for a couple of fingers to fit in the gap. _Um, belt? I need a belt, right?_ He tightened a plain black one in the loops. He was still standing shirtless staring at his fragile-looking body in uncertainty. 

He ran to the laundry basket and found a white long-sleeved shirt. It was made of cotton and looked wrinkled so he quickly ironed it. _Oh god, this is so plain. He Tian is going to be over the top as always, how the fuck am I meant to match that?_

In a sudden moment of inspiration, he pulled a soft blue sweater over the shirt. _Oh,_ he marveled as he ran back to the mirror, _this doesn't look too shit?_

The sweater hung kind of loosely on his frame but took away from the harshness of his face. Guan Shan had never minded that he wasn't as pretty and soft as omegas generally were, he preferred it, but now he was wondering if He Tian would be bothered by this. 

Pushing all future-husband related thoughts to the back of his head, he pulled on the shiny red converse that he'd washed the night before and slipped out the door. 

************************

The coffee on the table was getting cold and yet He Tian could not bring himself to drink it. With the twisting sensation in his stomach, he had a feeling that if he drank it, it would come right back up. What the fuck was this? He Tian grumbled at his nervous schoolgirl behavior and yet his hands remained rubbing against each other in a timid expression of his excitement and simultaneous fear. 

He had genuinely never felt like this except for the day in middle school when he brought a stray cat in his backpack and proudly showed it off to his classmates while at the same time harboring fear that a teacher would take it away from him if they caught on that He Tian was not in fact so hungry that his stomach was meowing. 

He was usually such a confident man, well more accurately an arrogant flirt, and he'd felt especially good about himself when he left the house this morning. He was decked out in a tight-fitting black turtleneck and equally tight black jeans. A thick silver chain stood out against the dark fabric and to accentuate it all he'd draped a black coat over his shoulders. Head to toe he was wearing more than a couple hundred dollars but then all of a sudden his stomach was exploding repeatedly. 

_It's only Guan Shan_ , he reminded himself, _i_ _t's only the fiery red-haired boy who made you want to actually commit to something for the first time in your life._ Back when they'd met in high school, He Tian had quickly recognized how taken he was with the boy. He was always seeking him out, eyes following him in crowds, sitting on the roof with a cigarette to share with him for however long till he showed up. He just wanted to be around him at every given moment, and the fact that it wasn't just his dick thinking for him scared him to the bone. Once he made the strange revelation that he was probably in love with an omega who barely regarded his existence, he knew he couldn't stick around. 

He purposefully distanced them all those years ago, but now ...

He heard the tingle of the cafe bell and his eyes snapped up, standing there looking impossibly soft in the prettiest sweater He Tian had ever seen was Mo Guan Shan. He was beautiful, just as beautiful as he had been in high school but he looked more thoughtful now. The permanent furrow in his eyebrows was gone along with the deep-set scowl that had been his defining characteristics. Now his eyes were wide open and inquisitive, less cynical if only a little tired. His hands were clasped together in front of him as he looked out around the cafe undoubtedly searching for him. 

Guan Shan's scent was different now. It used to be strong, with the sourness of unripe strawberries overpowering everything else. Now, the scent had ripened and it was sweet, but not in the sickly way that caused a gag reflex, but in an addictive delicate, subtle way that He Tian couldn't stop inhaling. 

He Tian urged himself to get up and beckon him over but he was still taking in the sight of the world's most stunning omega standing in front of him. So much about him looked different, but so much looked the same. He used to firmly look people in the eyes when they were teens but when he finally caught He Tian's, they darted away. 

He slowly shuffled to the table and reached just as He Tian rose from his seat. 

"Hey.", He almost whispered it, still looking at their shoes.

He Tian couldn't bear it, he wanted those fiery eyes to drill into his like they always had. Before he could help himself, he was reaching out to gently tip Guan Shan's face towards his, fingers lightly brushing his chin.

"Hello, Guan Shan." And He Tian smiled genuinely, something he didn't do very often, and something he couldn't help himself from doing when those mesmerizing brown eyes were looking up at him blankly. 

He could tell the boy was dazed, maybe more so than He Tian, so he snapped into action and trailed his hand down to grasp Guan Shan's. He pulled the redhead into the seat across from his, and then reluctantly letting go, went to sit down.

Guan Shan was looking at him now, eyes less unsure and burning with curiosity. He unashamedly scanned He Tian up and down and the black-haired man could probably guess what he was thinking.

Guan Shan suddenly broke into a casual smile that shocked He Tian right to his core after the previous shyness. 

"You're still as obnoxious as ever huh?" 

He Tian recognized this, this was routine. Their usual playful banter. It was his move now. He leaned back in his chair arrogantly and felt his teeth emerge in a wicked grin. 

"Whatever do you mean by that?" He feigned in a provocative tone. 

Guan Shan raised a red eyebrow and his eyes pointedly slid over to the brilliant and massive gold watch that occupied a large part of He Tian's wrist. 

"You're so very shiny.", and then quieter, eyes turned down, "but you look well. I hope you're doing good." 

He Tian paused at that. Just how exactly was he meant to talk to Guan Shan if they weren't bantering. Clearly, he should have made a game plan. 

The grin slid of He Tian's face and turned into a gentler look. "Are you?" 

Guan Shan tensed but quickly flicked his eyes to him and answered, "There's no point lying to the man I will soon be married to. Not so well as I would want to be." 

With full seriousness in his tone, He Tian ventured, "What is it that gives you trouble these days Guan Shan?" He sounded like he'd be able to solve everything that Guan Shan came at him with. 

The redhead looked a little surprised. "You don't know? He Cheng certainly does." 

He Tian felt a jealousy curl in his stomach unpleasantly but quickly brushed it away after reminding himself that seeing Mo Guan Shan in front of him right now was only thanks to his brother. 

"My mother has cancer. And I... lost my job. It's like it's always been I suppose but, I no longer have the energy in me." 

He Tian went silent while he racked his brain with ways to help him. He startled when he felt a warm hand above his own. 

"Do not worry yourself with such details He Tian", and his name sounded so delicious coming from those lips, "your brother has provided me with everything I need in exchange for this marriage." 

He felt relieved and yet an unpleasant feeling settled in his stomach. He suppressed it for the time being. 

"Okay", he sighed and struck a new topic of conversation, "do you want something to eat?" 

Mo Guan Shan looked at him with just a fragment of a smile and nodded. 

By the time their food came, He Tian had unwisely spilled to Guan Shan that he didn't really know how to do his job and that his brother and his brother's husband were bearing down on him every day for being irresponsible about his public image. 

"Oh yeah, that's where I help right?" Mo Guan Shan said around a bite of his sandwich. His cheeks were puffed up as he chewed and He Tian exercised self-control to the max so as not to reach forward and pinch them. 

"Um yeah, I guess you just have to come around with me to fancy parties and all that nonsense political crap." He Tian muttered it casually but in his mind, he already felt a strong dislike about the fact that he would be forced to make Guan Shan come with him to annoying gatherings. 

"It doesn't bother me too much yet." Guan Shan assured as if reading his mind, "but He Tian, if you don't mind me asking, what exactly do you want to do? Career-wise, that is." 

Their relationship before had been brash and rough, filled with tension-ridden banter, but now that they'd both grown up He Tian felt an overwhelming sense of comfort around Guan Shan and found himself being more honest than he'd ever been with anyone. 

At the loaded question, He Tian just sighed and closed his eyes, leaning back in the chair with the weight of that uncertainty. "I... don't fucking know yet. Or still. I still don't know." 

Guan Shan patted his forearm reassuringly, "You'll figure it out soon. Maybe you'll like your job if you just get adjusted to it." 

He Tian smiled in gratefulness at the redhead who was being genuine about his advice. 

"You've never had any interests though?", He licked his wet lips and He Tian's eyes flicked right to them. 

The black-haired man literally hadn't so he sat up straighter with a grin and captured Guan Shan's chin in his hand. 

"Maybe only you baby", he heatedly whispered as he looked directly into the boy's eyes. 

Guan Shan naturally gave him a deadpan look and swatted his hand away. It looked as if he didn't realize that He Tian was telling the truth, but that wouldn't be the case for much longer. While he planned on making Guan Shan's life from here on out as easy and pleasant as he could, he also absolutely would not let the redhead forget that he'd married someone who was desperately in love with him.


	5. forelsket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> he tian is an overenthusiastic puppy who just wants guan shan's attention   
> please excuse me while the house of my dreams makes a small cameo in this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay perhaps i spent too long describing the house but i have a mild passion for pretty houses  
> also the direction of this book, sighhh, i was planning to make it all angsty but turns out i really don't have that in me   
> please accept this tooth rotting fluff that i have now accepted to be major part of this fic

**_ forelsket - the euphoria experienced as you begin to fall in love _ **

Mo Guan Shan's life was undergoing several permanent changes at a downright frightening pace. He Tian couldn't have been more enthusiastic about it. 

In the following week since they met up, he had seen He Tian more than he'd collectively seen him in high school. The dark-haired alpha was always hovering near him somehow. When he went to the remarkably large company building to share his resume with the people he would soon be working with, He Tian had hardly left him alone but to go to the bathroom. Even then he stood outside the stall and complained about how he didn't want to be wearing a suit while Mo Guan Shan tried his best to tune him out. 

He couldn't have always been this talkative Guan Shan wondered on Wednesday when He Tian had dragged him out to go house hunting with him. It's not like he minded much, he had never been big on conversation and most of the time the alpha filled the silence between them with idle chatter. He certainly observed a few irrelevant things about the man he would soon marry. Like how, when he wasn't trying to flirt with Guan Shan, he allowed his voice to become higher pitched in excitement. That was another thing, he flirted a ridiculous amount. Nine out of ten times it was cheesy lines that made Guan Shan pull a scrunched up face. The other one-tenth was little gestures, like brushing flowers off the top of his head, that occasionally made Guan Shan flush just slightly. 

On Friday, He Tian showed up at his mom's hospital room in his work suit. How he knew Mo Guan Shan was there was a question that remained unanswered. He Tian played just the perfect son-in-law and massaged his mom's feet, to which Guan Shan expressed strong discomfort. He practically had to drag the boy out by his tie. They were getting along suspiciously well and Guan Shan was feeling a strange sense of apprehension the more He Tian allowed himself into different aspects of his life. 

"What is today's tiring agenda He Tian?" Guan Shan sighed, head falling against the wall of the elevator, eyes closed, and listening for the dreaded answer. 

Instead, he felt his head be shifted onto what felt like a warm brick wall, that being He Tian's chest he realized as his eyes flew open in surprise. He Tian was holding his head to his chest with a hand that went around his shoulders and rested in his hair. Guan Shan was too frozen in shock to even think about moving. 

"I think you'll like today's plan", He Tian said softly as he patted his head like Guan Shan was a child. He continued talking pensively as if Guan Shan wasn't wriggling to get out of his hold with angry eyebrows. "If only you stopped your part-time jobs like I told you to then maybe you wouldn't be so tired. As we know, I'm always undoubtedly right about every matter and you should live by my valuable advice."

Guan Shan looked up at him from where he was still pressed against the alpha and scoffed in his face, briefly allowing his annoyance with the man sink in before stepping away and turning around to face the elevator doors. 

He Tian pouted behind him and wiggled his shoulders in a childish gesture that indicated that he didn't like being glared at with such ferocity. 

*********************************

"No fucking way He Tian. Return it, resell it, I don't know how you're going to get rid of this but do it immediately." 

He Tian crept up behind him and put his chin on the angry shorter man's shoulder. "I really don't understand the problem." He tried to distract him by rubbing his arms in a comforting gesture. 

Guan Shan whirled around and looked straight into He Tian's eyes as he spoke, "This is nothing but a waste of space He Tian. We are only two people and we do not need a house this big." 

"What if I get a dog?" He Tian attempted.

"Still too big." Guan Shan barked and He Tian gave him a weak smile. 

"What if I get two dogs?" He flinched even before Guan Shan swatted him over the head. 

"He Tian." The man in question recognized that tone, that reprimanding 'I have only one ounce of patience left for you' tone. He stepped closer in an attempt to calm him down. 

"Okay, okay listen, we've only seen the outside right? It could just look big and then actually be smaller inside." He shot a hopeful look to his fiance. 

Guan Shan crossed his arms and stared challengingly, "Is it actually smaller inside?" 

"Um well not really", He Tian cringed and laughed like he was apologetic.

Guan Shan paused for a moment and stared at the big gray stone walls and realized how strange it would look to the other residents of this disgustingly rich gated residence if they remained outside on the sidewalk and argued. 

He pinched He Tian's ear and dragged him into the house behind him. 

Unexpectedly, the house didn't seem as overwhelmingly large on the inside as it did from out there. He looked up at He Tian in confusion as his eyes took it all in. 

Where they had been standing before was outside a looming stone wall, which was what had scared Guan Shan about the size of the house in the first place, but actually, the walls had just provided a pleasant sense of privacy to the garden that was the first thing they entered into. 

There were bamboo trees that reached high above the walls and were spread out sparsely enough along the length of the perimeter for there to still be sunlight filtering through the leaves. They encircled a lush grass lawn. Guan Shan didn't know that grass could be so vibrantly green. There was a wide stone path that went through it, leading to the big wooden door of the actual house.

Guan Shan gasped in awe, even still standing under the fluttering shade of bamboo trees having taken only one step onto the property. It was just so beautiful.

It was like it was their own world; like they'd entered a private place for both of them to comfortably be themselves. Guan Shan didn't even register He Tian as there next to him when he ran forward to a small pond in the corner of the garden. There were two turtles and several orange fish and Guan Shan felt himself get weak at the knees. He plopped down in the grass next to the pool and watched the turtle lazily crawl up onto a rock to bask in the gentle rays of sunlight. 

He turned to find He Tian standing next to him and his eyes widened in gratitude and excitement. 

He Tian guided the absolutely bewildered boy inside through a simple dark wood door. The hallway was just as beautiful as outside, sunlight spreading onto a pretty wooden shoe rack from massive windows that looked out to more bamboo. Guan Shan unknowingly allowed He Tian to hold his hand as he pulled him through the house. 

The living room continued the theme of wood and nature and yellow sunlight. There was an elevated wooden deck and empty bookshelves on it that didn't look dusty at all. The centrally placed living room led to a deck outside glass doors that He Tian ignored in favor of pulling him up exactly five stairs into another hallway. This one was strangely shaped. The rooms didn't stem out in the classic leaf format, but some rooms were bordered with open entryways that led to different areas. One had a cozy amount of pillows and a long sofa and looked like a second living room, unique with a circle-shaped window that peered out into what seemed like the backyard.

There was a pool out there Guan Shan marveled, but He Tian was already pulling him somewhere else. There was a guest bedroom with levels of wood to it and wide steps and Guan Shan could have stared at the intricate simplicity of the design for a long while if He Tian wasn't so urgent. 

They passed a bathroom and an office and an extra bedroom and then somehow they were on another floor now. The second floor only had two things. Another wide-open area, that was also a balcony looking down to the living room. This one was cozier and smaller and seemed like just a more private living room. It led to the first closed door that Guan Shan saw in the house. 

He Tian paused outside this one. "Okay so, this is the master bedroom. Now there's only one of those and I understand you may not want to sleep in the same room as me so I've allocated this to you, I'll take the guest one downstairs." 

Guan Shan absently nodded, still buzzed at how many pleasing things his eyes had come across today. They walked through the doorway to the prettiest room that Guan Shan had seen. It had wooden floors and a medium height slanted ceiling. There were several cleverly placed windows and the bamboo reached right up to it. The whole room was huge, a bay window with a cozy seat in one corner, and a seating area on the floor in the other. There was a huge bed placed vaguely in the middle. A pale green door led to another room that had to be the bathroom. 

Guan Shan's tired feet dragged across a patterned rug on the floor as he trudged up to the bed and collapsed onto it. He Tian lunged forward thinking he'd fainted but stopped when he saw that Guan Shan was simply resting his eyes with a peaceful smile on his face. He Tian sat next to him and gently put a hand to Guan Shan's back and kept it there reassuringly. 

Guan Shan pulled himself up to sit next to He Tian after a minute. He looked over at the man with sudden seriousness. 

"Thank you, He Tian", he whispered, and the sincerity in his voice shook He Tian's heart in his chest. 

He was about to fall back onto the bed when He Tian caught him halfway down in his arms. 

"Wait wait wait. I know you're tired, and you can sleep in a minute but I just want to show you the kitchen. It's the best part about this place." 

Guan Shan smiled at him and shook his head lightly. "When I wake up. I can't keep my eyes open for a second longer." 

And with that, he went slack against the alpha. Guan Shan's body had been worn down all week with the barrage of documents He Cheng was sending him to fill out, with He Tian's regular outings, with the unnecessary stress of his part-time jobs and finally at this moment with the powerful realization of what He Tian had done for him and the new trust he found that the alpha would do anything for him. 

He Tian only allowed himself a moment to revel in the feel of Guan Shan's body in his arms before he was moving around to make his sleep as comfortable as possible. He let him down gently over the covers and went to close all the blinds and curtains. When he came back he lifted Guan Shan easily, strong arms under his neck and the back of his knees. With little difficulty, he held the omega to him with one arm and pulled back the blankets before placing him back down under them. 

He Tian stepped back slightly and stared at this beautiful person who would soon be his husband. He was so overcome with adoration for the boy that he couldn't help kneeling beside the bed and pressing his nose to his scent glands, inhaling that sweet strawberry scent deeply. He Tian sighed and put his forehead down on the pillow next to Guan Shan, realizing how genuinely screwed he was. He felt that familiar consuming feeling of love cloud his senses for an instant before getting off his knees. 

He Tian struggled to tear his eyes away from the peaceful sleeping face of his omega but eventually slipped out the door with quiet footsteps. 


	6. lagom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fluffy filler chapter ?   
> guan shan and he tian get used to living together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not even joking when i say that your comments are my main source of happiness rn   
> thank youuu all so much for saying that you liked it and that it was cute cause most of the time i don't think so myself  
> if you guys feel like this is lacking conflict at the moment then just waiiittt   
> no, that sounds very ominous, i promise it won't actually be that sad, I'm incapable of writing angst  
> anyway thanks for the comments, leave as many as you want i love them all

**_ Lagom - refers to when something is just the right amount. It also represents the idea of living a balanced life. _ **

Guan Shan's nose twitched in objection. His eyes were still heavy with sleep so they remained closed but his nose was being assaulted unforgivingly by a dense smell that made him shake his head in confusion. 

_ What the fuck is this scent?  _ His drowsy brain registered that it was far too strong and unpleasant for him to like. In a sudden moment of clarity, he shot straight up in bed, the blanket falling off of his shoulders as he registered the setting he was in. The heavy scent of He Tian was coming from somewhere downstairs, and even so far up through the thick wood walls, it was making Guan Shan's head spin. 

He managed to pull his feet over the edge of the bed and slide onto the carpeted floor. His arms were ridden with goosebumps, now that the fluffy blanket was gone and he looked around for a replacement. Resting over the sofa was a black wool sweater and Guan Shan quickly shuffled over to pull it on. 

This was it, this was He Tian's comforting smell resting deeply in the threads of the sweater. He smelled like dark chocolate most of the time, and occasionally it got just a little bit sweeter. But now... it was bitter. So bitter that Guan Shan could taste it on his tongue. Something was wrong.

Memories of a reckless teenage He Tian who risked his life for the fun of it rushed into the omega's mind. Surely if his scent was this altered, He Tian had to have lost it over something. The thoughts caused Guan Shan to instantly shuffle out of the door. If he was going to be married to this man, he had better figure out how to put a cap on his emotions. 

When he had reached the end of the hallway that led to the living room, he was hit by an imposing wave of the bitter scent. Weak from sleep, Guan Shan's knees buckled and he fell against the wall to remain upright. 

The alphas hadn't noticed him yet, probably too absorbed in the ocean they'd created of their own hormones trying to overpower each other. Standing in front of He Tian was someone who looked frighteningly similar but at the same time, decades more mature. The man's expression was one of pure annoyance and frustration. Guan Shan could assume that it came commonly during interactions with He Tian. 

"I'm not going to do that He Cheng, there is nothing on this fucking earth that would make me even consider it." 

_ Oh, He Tian's brother.  _ Guan Shan perked his ears, deciding if he needed to interfere. 

"He Tian, can you please think about the company-" 

"Get out of my house. I am angry, but for now, I understand your logic. If you keep talking though...", He Tian followed his words with a deep, warning growl. Guan Shan slightly swayed. 

The fight drained out of He Cheng's eyes and Guan Shan physically saw his shoulders descend in defeat. He looked like he still wanted to say something but He Tian growled again lowly, less fierce but equally threatening. 

"Fine. I'll see you in the office on Monday." And with that, He Cheng simply turned on his heel and strolled out of the door. 

Guan Shan watched the muscles in He Tian's back, made highly visible by his tight black shirt, relax in the same way his brother had earlier. The omega smiled to himself about that for a second. It was always so much unnecessary chest-puffing with these alphas. 

He Tian stood there for a while to let out a long sigh and shake off the fighting instinct that had been coursing through his veins earlier before making for the stairs. 

Guan Shan smirked at the surprised look on He Tian's face and sauntered towards him. 

The alpha looked at him like he was about to be scolded, head slightly bowed towards the omega. 

Guan simply patted his shoulder on his way to the kitchen and said, "You smell terrible go outside and cool off. I'll make us dinner." 

***************

"I'm sorry about that." He Tian said in a voice that was surprisingly quiet for the boisterous alpha. 

He was leaning against the counter opposite where Guan Shan was cooking something in a pot. The red-haired man glanced over at him and noted his annoyance at how his t-shirt was stretched tightly across his muscled chest. It was almost narcissistic that He Tian even owned such a shirt. 

"Not an ideal way to meet my future brother-in-law, but at least I've seen him now." He shrugged casually and turned his attention back to the cooking. 

"You're... not gonna ask why we were fighting?" 

Guan Shan turned to look at him straight in the eyes, "Would you have told me?" 

He Tian shook his head after a second of thought. 

"Hmm, then what would be the point in asking." 

That seemed to strike up He Tian's defensive side. "It's not like I'm hiding anything from you. it's just that-" 

"He Tian you don't have to explain yourself to me, it's not like we're a real couple or anything."

The alpha took a second for the comment to sink in and the hurt Guan Shan had casually caused him to wear off.

He didn't know how to reply to that declaration that was unmistakably putting a line down between them, and he didn't want to concede that they would never be a couple either, so he simply hummed and walked out of the kitchen towards the table. 

A minute later Guan Shan followed, coming with a big steaming pot of something that smelled absolutely delicious. He Tian's eyes lit up in the excitement of trying Mo Guan Shan's cooking for the first time. 

The alpha snatched the bowl as soon as it was filed with rich beef stew and started slurping it down messily. 

"He Tian! Stop dripping soup everywhere." Guan Shan lamented as he followed the trail of spilled stew on the table with a cloth. 

"Sorry but this is just fucking brilliant. Oh god, I could eat this every day of my damn life." The pure honesty in that sentence seemed to redden Guan Shan's cheeks, much to his disappointment. 

"By the way, thank you." Guan Shan muttered while he served himself. 

That got He Tian to pause his intense stew drinking and look up at him. 

"What for?" 

Guan Shan motioned behind them, "The kitchen. It's the best kitchen I've ever been in. Thank You." 

He Tian shrugged to play off how proud he was at that moment, "Yeah no problem." 

They finished their dinner in silence after that, save for a few remarks from Guan Shan telling the alpha to eat slower so that he doesn't burn his mouth. 

They'd moved to the living room, where He Tian was sprawled over one end of the sofa, and Guan Shan was sitting uncomfortably on the other end. 

"Why do you look like you have a stick up your ass?" The alpha questioned bluntly. 

Guan Shan furrowed his brows, "Shut up chicken dick, I'm just not suitable to be in a house as big as this."

"Sure maybe not cause you've always been living in the same place your whole life." He Tian smirked and then, "but this your house now, this is  _ our _ home. 

The way he said it sent shivers up Guan Shan's spine so of course, his natural reaction was to extend his leg forward and lightly kick the grinning alpha. 

He was silent for a moment. 

"So this is our house then? Like permanently?" 

"Yup," He Tian affirmed, closing his eyes and sinking down further into the couch. It was already 11 PM and the alpha was feeling the fresh thrill of today wear off. 

He heard Guan Shan hum in understanding, and then the weight on the other end of the sofa was gone. He Tian lazily opened his eyes to look for where the omega had gone and startled when he saw Guan Shan standing right in front of him. 

"If you're going to sleep, do it in a bedroom." He held out a hand for He Tian to use as support to get up.

He pulled himself up but didn't let go of Guan Shan, looking up into his eyes as innocently as he could manage, "Our bedroom?" He blinked twice for good measure. 

Guan Shan let out a small growl and pulled his hand out of He Tian's grip. He looked like he was about to start scolding He Tian, so he held his hands up in surrender and made his way to a guest room. 

The omega followed behind him suspiciously as if he He Tian would just dash upstairs to the other bedroom. 

He plopped onto the bed with his hands under his head and looked over at Guan Shan who was standing in the doorway with a pensive expression on his face. 

"What? You feeling guilty for kicking me out?" He Tian couldn't help the smirk that pulled at his lips. 

The thoughtful expression on the omega's face broke into the classic furrowed eyebrows and a frowning mouth. 

"No." He turned to leave but paused a second, "take a shower and change out of those jeans before you sleep." 

"Aww does Guan Shan care about  _ meee _ ?" He Tian taunted. 

The omega walked away while saying, "They're so tight, I'm simply worried they'll make you infertile. We can't have that, no?" 

*************************

The next week passed peacefully, Guan Shan wondered how everything was going so smoothly blind to the fact that He Tian was discreetly making everything in his life as painless as possible. 

As it stood, Guan Shan's main responsibilities at the time being were to go visit his mom every day and make breakfast and dinner for He Tian. He took those opportunities to experiment with things he'd learned in culinary school but never got to try. He spent the majority of his day in the kitchen because somehow it just felt like it needed to be properly used.

"It's so weird though." He Tian mumbled around a flavored ball of liquid nitrogen. There was cold smoke coming out his nose and mouth and Guan Shan couldn't help but laugh. 

"Sorry, I just wanted to see if I could make it." He took the bowl from He Tian and left the backyard patio to place it in the kitchen.

It was a Sunday afternoon and neither of them had anything to do. The omega was especially jobless, and He Tian well, he had a job but it didn't occupy a large part of his mind. 

When Guan Shan strolled back outside, He Tian was lying down on the shady part of the patio with his forearm over his eyes. 

The omega lightly nudged him with his foot, causing the dark-haired man to look up at him through one eye. 

"I know I know if I'm going to sleep do it in a bedroom." 

Guan Shan laughed and plopped down next to He Tian on the ground.

He looked over at the omega curiously and noted that his expression was something definitely unfamiliar on his face. Guan Shan looked content. He Tian tried to recall a time he'd seen that but the emotional range of the omega he'd been privy to were an annoyance, anger, and a sort of threatening sense of calm. Pure happiness though, this was new.

He Tian smiled and turned onto his side, placing a hand under his head. Tentatively he reached out and ran his fingers against the side of Guan Shan's cheek. 

The omega looked over in confusion as if his eyebrows were asking what the hell He Tian was doing. 

"Guan Shan are you happy right now?" 

The redhead blushed, just slightly, "Yeah I guess I am. Didn't ever think I would be thankful to you of all people but, thank you, for all this." He motioned around the lush green of their backyard with a lazy hand. 

When the redhead turned and met He Tian's eyes, the only thing that registered in his mind was how pretty the omega actually was. 

His eyes had lost that tiredness that they always seemed to carry, and he looked youthful now, even more so than when he was a teenager. It was so endearing, He Tian thought, when Guan Shan allowed himself to be honest with his feelings and get excited over silly things like a more carefree person. 

When He Tian made the decision to pause everything for a week and allow Guan Shan to get accustomed to living with him, he didn't expect that the omega's reaction would be so compliant. He had fully expected Guan Shan to become restless and demand to start working immediately. If he had done that, of course, the alpha would let him, but he was glad he hadn't. 

Being in the house was healing Guan Shan of all the weight he constantly carried on his shoulders. He Tian watched him become more relaxed every day. It was surprising that Guan Shan had so easily adapted to being free of responsibility, but that told He Tian a lot about how difficultly he'd been living his life thus far and in how much need he was of a break.

He wanted that childlike expression of carelessness to remain on his face forever and he wanted to be the one responsible for it being there. Which is why he felt a substantial sense of guilt when he faced Guan Shan, hand now stroking his head and said, "We have to start planning for the wedding." 


	7. estrenar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wedding planning! and more fluff predictably.   
> (still not feeling angsty guys)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg this is a full 4000 words what am i doing   
> this was supposed to be posted hours ago but my brother whined for me to make him cookies so i spent a good part of my afternoon doing that instead of editing hehe   
> i kinda like this chapter? tell me what y'all think :))

**_ estrenar - wearing something for the very first time _ **

There were at least three times every day when Guan Shan had to stop He Tian from doing something incredibly stupid. And nowadays it was wedding related. 

"He Tian, for the last time, we cannot have a cheese cake." 

He Tian looked like he'd been very wronged, setting down a picture of a cake that was essentially cheese wheels stacked on top of each other.

"It's a good idea though. And I don't like frosting." He looked over at Guan Shan with his head bowed like a pouty child and let out little unhappy noises. 

The omega almost preferred He Tian's previous rougher persona from highschool. It really boggled his mind that this massive above 6-foot alpha was such a child at heart, or at least around him.

Now that they'd started planning for the wedding in full force, He Tian had decided to take some time off work to stay home and help. Guan Shan appreciated it of course because the budget he'd been given had made his eyes pop out of his head, and without He Tian's careless spending he would be lost. It was stressful of course, but it was something to occupy himself with.

To the disappointment of Guan Shan, it was to be a massive publicity event. It's not like he hadn't expected it, but still, it was annoying to think about being in front of so many people after enjoying the solitude of their house for a while. He was reluctant to leave even to pick up groceries most of the time. The omega tilted his head to the side in disappointment at the realization that he was truly becoming lazy. Where had his amazing work ethic gone?

"Ok ok, what about, if we have a dog as the ring bearer?" He Tian looked at Guan Shan in expectation, only for it to be shot down with a single fiery look. 

"MoMo you don't let me have any fun at all." The alpha whined, sinking down into his chair. 

Guan Shan glanced over inquisitively, "Do you really want a dog?"

That got He Tian's attention and he sat up straighter, "Well yeah, but He Cheng said that I would neglect the dog so I shouldn't get one." 

Guan Shan laughed louder than he thought he would at that and He Tian crumpled his face in the annoyance of being laughed at. 

"You accept to everything He Cheng tells you so obediently. I never thought I would see the day He Tian listens to someone else." He laughed again to himself quietly. 

"I listen to you though", He Tian mumbled softly and then louder in a more defensive tone, "I just listened then because he was kind of right." 

Guan Shan hummed and went back to flipping through the wedding magazine in his lap. 

Time noiselessly passed, the two collaborating on making decisions about the ceremony, but mostly it was Guan Shan putting an end to ideas like a live shark pool.

He Tian glanced at the heavy watch on his wrist and moved to get out of his chair, "We have to start getting ready to leave for dinner now." 

Guan Shan looked up at him from his comfortable cushioned seat and whined, simply with the look in his eyes. 

"Are you too tired ?" He Tian asked, coming to stand by Guan Shan and offering him a hand. 

The omega shook his head and held it, pulling himself out of the chair slowly. "Let's get this done with then." 

He Tian had told him at breakfast that they had to go out for dinner with his brother to discuss more wedding related stuff, but that seemed so long ago and Guan Shan had conveniently forgotten. He assumed that dinner would be a tension-filled event because even though He Tian acted like a child with childish preferences around him, he was still a headstrong alpha. And anyone related to him would be the same.

As He Tian followed Guan Shan up the stairs, he dared himself to rest his hand on the small of Guan Shan's back to support him and almost squealed when the omega didn't shrug him away. 

"What exactly am I supposed to wear?" the redhead muttered to himself from where he had sprawled on his bed. 

He Tian replied for him by moving to pull out some clothes from the part of the closet that Guan Shan had graciously allowed him to use.

The omega sat up curiously, surely he wasn't going to wear He Tian's clothes right. 

"Do you mind wearing a suit? I had this made for you in case we'd need it for something." He Tian turned to face Guan Shan and got his reply in the form of a pulled face. He laughed and turned back to the closet. 

"Sorry but you have to just for tonight. It's a  _ fancy  _ kinda place." 

Guan Shan grumbled and pulled the clothing from He Tian's hands and headed for the bathroom. When he emerged, He Tian was well, shirtless. 

Guan Shan stumbled backward a little bit at the sight. It's not like he hadn't seen this before but the context was entirely different now that they were both adults, about to get married. 

The omega realized that maybe he was staring for too long at the hard lines on He Tian's torso when a smirk started to spread on his face, reveling those devilish canines. 

Before the arrogant alpha could make an annoying statement about Guan Shan liking what he saw, he distracted him with a question, "Am I even wearing this right?" 

He shifted to stand in front of the full-length mirror and tugged at his tie. In a second, He Tian was standing behind him, so close that Guan Shan could feel the heat from his body through the layers of the suit.

He Tian innocently encircled both strong arms around Guan Shan and started fiddling with his tie, focusing on the wrongly tied knot. 

Guan Shan however was trying his best not to turn red. With He Tian focusing on the knot of his tie, he was free to look ahead at the mirror at the picture that they created. 

They looked good together, so good. He Tian's chin was turned towards Guan Shan so that his sharp jawline was on full display. That, paired with the unashamed strength of He Tian's exposed muscles, and the tightness of his thighs in black slacks was almost enough to arouse him. 

The best part of it all though was the way they were standing. Alpha, right behind his omega, both looking equally powerful. Guan Shan had never once in his life felt powerful before, but when He Tian's eyes met his in the mirror, he felt a rush of some invincible feeling reach his toes. 

Their scents mixed in the air around them creating a fragrant bubble. Guan Shan couldn't have guessed that their scents would be so compatible. Strawberries and chocolate. 

He didn't waver or swoon, but Guan Shan stood straighter against the alpha, confronting himself in the reflection. Till now he'd always thought that having someone to support him and depend on would be a fatal weakness, that he was better off without anyone else. But now, he faced the fact that he had never looked stronger in his life than when he was standing in front of He Tian like this. 

He Tian's hand tilted his chin towards him, so they were looking directly into each other. The omega lightly shivered at the lust-filled look in He Tian's eyes and realized they needed to pull away before something he would regret would happen. 

He Tian's voice deepened and Guan Shan watched his pupils dilate as he growled in his face, "Guan Shan." 

The redhead ungracefully stepped away from the alpha, clearing his throat in an attempt to clear up the tension of the moment. 

"I'll uhh, wait for you downstairs." 

In a matter of seconds, Guan Shan was gone through the door, closing it behind him, and He Tian was left reeling from the way he'd been briefly possessed by his instincts. He took more than a couple of deep breaths before looking down to face the tent in his pants. 

"Fuck" he muttered under his breath as he went into the bathroom to take care of himself. He vaguely registered the guilt he felt for objectifying Guan Shan in his mind while he did, imagining that suit opened haphazardly over his body, just open enough for He Tian to see the taut skin of his torso. 

_ Shit, I'm a degenerate.  _

**************

The car ride had been fairly silent. Both were busy in their own minds, trying to work through how the suddenly intense moment at home had affected them. 

For Mo Guan Shan it was an unwanted realization that he did in fact find He Tian especially attractive. This new aspect would certainly make the redhead's quiet mission to keep their relationship platonic, more difficult. He briefly entertained the thought of why it had to be before reminding himself that it would be less complicated when things surely went wrong at some point. He took a moment to feel dejected by how he'd been conditioned into pessimism, but the strong self-preservation instinct that Guan Shan had always been required to have before He Tian, would not be so easily lost just because he was comfortable now. 

In the alpha's case, he was still slightly uncomfortable in the nether regions, unable to get the fantasy of ripping a suit off of Guan Shan out of his head. Along with it came an overwhelming sense of guilt for even thinking such a thing. He Tian was well aware that Guan Shan did not have any romantic intentions with him. Even if the casual comments from the omega reminded him of this, he would have known by the distance that Guan Shan kept. Sure, the redhead was honest and He Tian could feel his genuine gratefulness, but it was nothing more than that. He never even mistakenly led He Tian on, silently keeping him at arm's length. When He Tian offhandedly flirted, as it was in his nature to do, Guan Shan played it off easily as a joke, refusing to acknowledge that there might be some truth to He Tian's words. 

Strangely enough, though, he was allowed a pretty broad threshold of skinship that Guan Shan didn't complain about much. Maybe he just hadn't noticed. 

By the time they'd reached the restaurant, neither of them wanted to get out of the car. He Tian took the lead, handing keys over to the valet and coming over to Guan Shan's side to help him get up from his seat. 

The lobby of the restaurant was the fanciest thing Guan Shan had ever seen. It was in a word, gaudy. There was a common theme of gold and glass. There was a busy patterned wallpaper in an ugly beige and the chandelier hanging above them was entirely too shiny for Guan Shan to look at directly. Everything looked like it costed more than the omega's whole life but at the same time, it was so tacky.

He slightly tilted his head up towards He Tian to whisper "It's obnoxious." 

He Tian looked down at him with a strange emotion of appreciation swimming in his eyes before he smiled proudly and put an arm around Guan Shan's waist, "You're right about that." he started walking them towards the reception desk after whispering back, "these damn rich people." 

Guan Shan couldn't help the unusual chuckle that fell past his lips, and He Tian loved the way he leaned into him just slightly as he laughed. 

"Do you have a reservation?" An annoyed looking beta eyed them up from behind the desk. 

He Tian let go of Guan Shan and stepped forward to talk to the man, "Party of four, it's under He Cheng." 

The receptionist motioned to a waiter standing by to lead them to their table. As they followed him, Guan Shan tugged on He Tian's suit jacket to get his attention, "What do you mean a party of four? I thought it was just your brother." 

He Tian just shook his head indicating the omega had nothing to worry about and explained, "My brother's husband came too. Don't worry about it much though." 

Guan Shan looked unsure at that, so He Tian reassuringly put his arm around the omega's waist again. He wasn't blind to how uncomfortable Guan Shan was with all of this flashy rich people stuff. Even when they were discussing the large number of wedding guests, Guan Shan had looked deeply troubled.

By the time they reached the table, Guan Shan was almost vibrating with nervous energy. 

He Tian squeezed his hip lightly and said under his breath, "Relax MoMo, I'm right here, you don't have to say anything." 

He Cheng finally noticed them and the scary-looking man with the buzz cut sitting next to him rose from his seat with his husband. 

He Tian smiled in a way that was charming and scary at the same time. He held up a hand in a casual wave. 

"It's been a while Qiu ge." 

He Cheng focused on Guan Shan and gave him a kind smile. "Guan Shan, it's nice to finally meet you."

The omega paused a bit to understand that he was the only omega around three huge alphas and stood a little taller in an attempt to compensate.

"Nice meeting you as well, Mr. Cheng?" He said his name in a questioning tone, unsure about how to address his future brother-in-law. 

The alpha waved it off as he motioned for them to sit down, "Please, just call me He Cheng." 

Once they were all seated, He Tian introduced the scary buzz cut man to him as Qiu ge. 

He nodded at Guan Shan silently, but his expression was not as hostile as he expected. Guan Shan shook his hand when it was offered to him across the table. 

He Cheng spoke up, in a low voice that demanded attention, "Qiu is the head of security at our company, so if anything is troubling you in the work environment once you start your job, then don't hesitate to go to him." 

Guan Shan didn't know how to react to that but He Tian saved him from saying anything. 

"He can protect himself, and I'm there as well." His tone was defiant in an immature way and Guan Shan smiled to himself as he realized that He Tian had a bit of an inferiority complex with his brother.

He Cheng, clearly used to it just gave him a deadpan look and nodded patronizingly. 

That seemed to rile He Tian a little bit, as a furrow began to set in his eyebrows. At this rate Guan Shan expected him to be full-on pouting in the next ten minutes. He gently patted his hand on He Tian's thigh, as if to say  _ stop acting like a kid, you can have an ego battle later. _

He Cheng entertained Guan Shan in a peaceful conversation about how he was adjusting to the new house and talking about the job that Guan Shan would have in the cafeteria once he started work the next month. 

It was the second week of April, and the wedding would happen in the second week of May. By the end of the month, Guan Shan would be at work, He Cheng kindly informed, to which the omega gratefully bowed his head and thanked him.

Beside them, Qiu and He Tian sat silently. While Qiu looked comfortable in his silence, only glancing over to look at his husband's side profile occasionally, He Tian was restless in his seat.

When He Cheng and Guan Shan started talking about him, he felt like he was a child at a parent-teacher meeting and it was pissing him off. 

"He's always wanted a dog since he was a kid, but our dad never let him have one." 

Guan Shan laughed as he remembered what He Tian told him, "He told me you said not to get one cause he'd neglect it." 

He Cheng's eyes widened, looking very much amused, "Because he would!" 

Guan Shan was slightly proud he'd gotten a reaction from such a serious man, his husband though, that was a different level of graveness. 

He Cheng noticed Qiu looking at him and quietly whispered something to him, following which Qiu randomly declared, "I happen to like cats better. What about you Guan Shan?" 

The omega was delayed in answering from the surprise that the man had said something so casual. "I've never been a pet person. But I think bunnies are pretty cute. 

Qiu nodded seriously as if Guan Shan's answer required deep consideration. It was kind of adorable and He Cheng seemed to think the same thing as his eyes filled with adoration for his husband. 

Guan Shan allowed them to make eyes at each other for a while and turned to his own responsibility who was in fact pouting. 

"He Tian?" He questioned gently. "What's wrong?" 

The alpha looked like he had a lot to say now that he had a chance to talk but he suddenly changed gears and muttered, "I'm hungry."

Guan Shan was in a pretty good mood, the vibe at the table was much lighter than he expected and the few sips of wine he'd taken had him feeling a bit warm and fuzzy. He was never the kind of person who laughed loudly at anything, but at He Tian's adamant declaration of hunger, Guan Shan let himself giggle louder than normal. 

He Tian didn't seem to think it was very funny because his pout deepened and Guan Shan realized he had better stop patronizing the boy and feeding his very obvious complex. 

"Should we order? Do you order in a place like this?" 

He Tian shook his head and sat up a bit straighter, losing the pout. "Nah they usually have a fixed menu each night that they bring out whenever." 

"But you're hungry aren't you?" Guan Shan smiled at him. 

He Tian nodded firmly and grabbed a bread roll from the center of the table to munch on. He passed one to Guan Shan, who gladly took it and munched on it similarily. 

Qiu looked over at the two of them and said in a tone that was pretty expressive for the man, "You suit each other." 

He Tian started smiling proudly at that, his previous anger forgotten. His brother smirked just slightly but his eyes held a kind apology for Guan Shan. 

The rest of dinner passed peacefully, and contrary to Guan Shan's expectations, He Cheng hadn't grilled him about wedding details. They had rather efficiently decided a final date, and chosen a venue over the course of the meal. The food was amazing, but He Tian boasted that Guan Shan's cooking was better, causing the omega to look down in bashfulness. The alpha had a habit of embarrassing him with random things he said.

As the four of them walked out the doors into the mild summer breeze, Guan Shan and He Cheng made small talk. 

"I'll have to try that beef stew of yours that He Tian is always raving about." 

It surprised him a little bit that He Tian talked to his brother about his cooking but he nodded agreeably and offered him an invitation to come over anytime. They all said polite goodbye and got into their respective cars. 

When they finally crossed the doorway into their house, Guan Shan realized what it meant to miss being at home. That was not to say he hadn't enjoyed himself with his new relatives, but still, when all the anxiety of meeting them wore off, he was left with a tired feeling in his bones. 

He heard He Tian rummage through the fridge looking for something to eat, even though they'd eaten at the restaurant. 

"You're still hungry?" He Tian briefly acknowledged that Guan Shan had followed him into the kitchen, humming in response and turning back to dig around the fridge.

Guan Shan pulled him up by his shoulders, "Go sit down on the table, how does yesterday's soup sound?" 

He Tian gave a quiet thanks, trudging instead to the sofa where he flopped down and pulled off his blazer and tie. He undid a couple of his buttons too, much to Guan Shan's dismay. With his sleeves rolled up like that, and the small triangle of his chest he was revealing...

"Oh fuck, the soup" 

Guan Shan made quick work of heating it up in a pot and cutting a few fresh vegetables to add to it. 

Once he'd put it in a bowl and forced He Tian to eat at the table, insisting that he'd spill soup all over the couch, he ran upstairs to change out of his stuffy suit. 

He came back in a pair of comfy shorts that reached his knees and a massive orange hoodie. 

He Tian had left the empty soup bowl in the sink and was now sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone. 

"How did you manage to finish so fast?" Guan Shan marveled, calling He Tian's attention to his return to the living room.

The alpha stared at him blankly for a second before looking back down at his phone. 

"It's not fair." He said it so quietly that Guan Shan gravitated over to him to hear better. 

"What's not fair? You want more soup?" The omega could only guess. 

He Tian put his phone down and looked up at him with hopeful eyes. "You look so cuddly, but I can't cuddle you." 

Guan Shan froze in front of him. He couldn't play that off as a joke, He Tian's voice was way too serious.

"I-" Guan Shan started, but suddenly overcome by his own desire and maybe an understanding that the alpha wanted to be babied by him in the moment, he stepped forward between He Tian's legs and hugged his shoulder's lightly. 

The alpha flinched in shock but wasted less than a second in bringing his hands up to tightly wrap around Guan Shan's waist. He happily buried his head in the omega's stomach, loving the soft feeling of the hoody, with the warmth of Guan Shan behind it. 

"You have one minute." 

The alpha hummed like he understood and pulled Guan Shan closer in the circle of his arms and legs. 

Above him, Guan Shan was blushing so hard he thought his face might explode. Truthfully, the one minute was for him to get it under control before the alpha saw. 

He Tian was contentedly nuzzling against Guan Shan, and if he was lightly scent marking him as well, then there would be no solid evidence to prove it. They already lived in the same house so their scents were kind of intertwined anyway. 

Guan Shan was surprised at how reluctant he was to pull away from the comforting weight of He Tian's strong arms around him, but it had already been more than a minute, and he knew if he gave in to He Tian too much, it would turn into a problem. 

He Tian gave him a sort of dazed look when Guan Shan stepped back like he had been completely refreshed by the moment of contact between them.

"Good night, He Tian." Guan Shan whispered, because he felt like the mood around them had turned drowsy and calm. 

He Tian nodded, laying back on the sofa and closing his eyes, saying in his deep, low voice, "Night Momo"


	8. fisselig

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> guan shan gets his heat yo  
> sorry this is so short

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok firstly, am very sorry for just disappearing like that   
> college started and the stress is at an all-time high   
> i just posted this short chapter to update y'all and not just leave u guys waiting   
> i think I'll be able to write on the weekends when i have time, but i can't do more than one update a week :(   
> anyways sorryss but this is the new update schedule

_**fisselig - being flustered to the point of incompetence** _

There was something absolutely shocking about the shitty feeling of a damp fever setting in and the simultaneous realization of something Mo Guan Shan had been dreading since he had first agreed to the damn marriage. 

_ Fucking hell, I'm in heat. _

Guan Shan's mind immediately kicked into action. In only a second he was out of bed, running towards the door to lock it. Just as he did so, he heard something crash from downstairs. Guan Shan ran to the furthest wall from the door and checked the time on the clock. 

_ 3:40 AM, Thursday.  _

If this heat was like all of his others, it would be over by Saturday night. He Tian would be out of the house for Thursday and Friday for work so at least that would make things slightly easier on the both of them. 

The omega quickly got to work to minimize the symptoms. First, he closed all the windows and turned on the scent diffuser so that He Tian wouldn't be driven half out of his mind with the concentrated sweetness of his ripe scent. 

Just as he'd done that, he heard He Tian tumbling up the stairs, surely ungracefully in his state of mind that dictated that he needed to get to the omega by any means. 

Guan Shan had so much practice dealing with his heats efficiently that he didn't think having an alpha around would scare him this much. He Tian was standing behind the door now, he could feel the weight of his presence and his scent leaking through the wood. 

When a large inhale of He Tian's barely diluted scent reached his head, he realized he was quickly losing hold of his consciousness. He was omega after all, and an alpha was literally  _ right there. _

Guan Shan panicked as he felt his mind slipping into that annoying pliant state. He ran towards his phone and dialed Qiu's number because he didn't have a single clue what else to do to stop He Tian he was now lightly scratching at the wood from outside. 

Qiu picked up after a single ring and Guan Shan almost cried at his reliability. "Hello? Sorry, this might be improper, but I just went into heat and He Tian doesn't seem to be in his right mind currently. Can you please- God I don't know."

The omega knew his words were coming out all muddled but he couldn't help it when he felt slick start to run down his thighs. His whole body flinched when he heard a low growl. 

On the other end of the line, he heard Qiu moving around, "I'll be there in ten minutes. Try to distract him till I reach." 

Guan Shan's mind raced, he was already in the stage of his heat when his body began to feel boneless. He slumped onto the floor, rubbing his face against the fluffy rug and feeling even hotter. 

The coldness of his phone felt good in his palm and he suddenly had an idea. He dialed He Tian's number and waited for it to ring. He could feel the alpha freeze outside the door, briefly distracted by the tone of his phone ringing from downstairs. 

Guan Shan crawled somewhat towards the door, still keeping a safe distance. 

"Pick up the phone." 

He heard a growl, it was strangely pouty. The alpha remained unmoved from his spot.

"He Tian, please."

There was a long moment of silence before he felt He Tian leave. 

The call connected and Guan Shan could hear He Tian coming up the steps again. 

"Stay downstairs." 

"Mo Mo", a deep growl from the alpha that caused shivers to run down the redhead's spine.

"Stay." Guan Shan managed to gather some of his senses as he felt the diffuser working. 

The other side of the line remained silent like He Tian was waiting for another command from the omega. The silence lingered for about ten minutes, only the sound of the alpha's heavy breathing came through the speaker, gradually returning to its normal rhythm. The stillness was interrupted by a restless alpha shuffling around.

Guan Shan took a second to grab his pills and swallow them dry because he couldn't see a water bottle around the room. They scratched his throat as they went down but hopefully, his symptoms would become milder in a few minutes.

A gruff voice came out from his phone, "Did you take pills? They're ruining your scent." An annoyed rumble followed. 

Guan Shan smiled lightly, "That's the point you know." He settled against the window seat, pressing his cheek to the cool glass with a marginally clearer head. 

"I don't like it though." 

Guan Shan couldn't help but laugh at the annoyance in his voice.

"Have you somewhat got it together now?" 

He Tian went silent in shame, "Sorry, if I scared you. I just- that's never happened to me before. I promise I generally have a lot more control over my instincts." 

Guan Shan hummed in response. "I called Qiu ge, he's gonna get here in a bit."

"Oh. Well yeah, makes sense." He Tian sounded hurt.  _ Was Guan Shan replacing him with another alpha scent? _ Thoughts ran wild in his head. 

"I was... startled." Guan Shan attempted, guessing what He Tian was probably thinking. 

He Tian let out a frustrated groan, pissed at himself for letting his instincts command him. "Sorry Guan Shan. I'll stay out of the house for however long your heat takes." 

"Thanks, I would appreciate it. And He Tian?" 

"Yeah?", the alpha's voice had never sounded so apologetic.

"Don't be too hard on yourself, you didn't actually attack me or anything, it's natural for you to lose yourself for a bit." 

"Hmm still, thought I was better than that." 

"It's fine, He Tian. Just...it'll be over by Saturday night, so maybe come back Sunday morning." 

"Sure." He Tian paused and then, "If you want to, you can use my clothes to make a nest. I mean just if it makes you feel better, you don't need to or ... uh if my scent bothers you, then you can like throw my stuff out of the window, I don't mind-" 

He Tian was saved from his pointless ramble, and Guan Shan from providing a reply to the strange permission when a loud motorcycle engine was heard by the gates. It cut off and when Guan Shan looked out of the window he saw Qiu running into the compound with urgency. 

Guan Shan decided to speed along the process of getting the alphas out of the house before his symptoms really kicked in despite the medicine by finding a large duffle bag and stuffing it full of He Tian's clothes. There was a bar of chocolate on his bedside which he stuffed in beside several shirts as a consolation for having to kick him out of his own house. 

He ran to the window that faced the front yard, and called out, "He Tian! Catch!" 

The alpha did not, in fact, catch the bag, as he was still inside being mildly reprimanded by Qiu. He did, however, run outside just as it plopped onto the middle of the lawn. 

He Tian looked up directly at him, and Guan Shan flinched back even though he was at a safe distance away. The alpha's eyes were a luminescent gold, proving that he was slipping back into his instincts, now that the scent of Guan Shan was leaking into the yard. 

They returned to normal when Qiu came outside and gripped He Tian's bicep with a scary amount of force while snarling in his face to remind him to remain conscious. 

Qiu began walking towards the bike expecting He Tian to follow, but the alpha paused to fish out his phone from his pockets. 

"Guan Shan!", he called to the distracted omega in the window, "Sorry for this!" And then the distinct clicking sounds of a camera taking a picture. 

The omega's eyebrows went up in part annoyance and surprise, "Did you just take a picture of me?!" 

The alpha shrugged like he didn't know what Guan Shan was talking about, swinging his bag over his shoulder and following the older alpha out of the compound. 

The omega only allowed himself to sink onto the floor and whimper at the fever running through his body when he could no longer hear the motorbike driving away. 


	9. qīng tīng

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> guan shan's experience with his heat  
> plus a new character introduction!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys so much for your comments, you're all so understanding it really makes me feel motivated :)  
> i think it's time i told you the origin story of this fic, it's very simple actually  
> i saw fanart of guan shan cooking and he tian giving him a backhug and thought "oh boi now i gotta create a whole story until i can write that moment into the fiction naturally at some point."  
> hope this longer chapter makes up for last weeks baby chapter  
> anyways hope u like this one :))

_**qing ting -‘to listen attentively and/or respectfully.** _

It occurred to the omega on the night of his first day in heat, that somehow his cycle had been altered. Until He Tian had left, he had held it together merely with much experience of having to do so as a teenager, but now that the alpha was gone... 

Nothing the omega did brought him relief. Usually, a plug worked fine, a vibrator if he was desperate, but now no matter how many times he came, the fever only increased. His cheeks were damp and red, soaked with an endless flow of hot tears. 

The bedroom had been too warm to stay in, designed deliberately for cold winters, so Guan Shan had slumped down the stairs searching desperately for a cool surface. All the floors were wood and a new stream of frustrated tears ran over his face at the revelation. 

He caught a heavy whiff of He Tian's scent. Immediately, he felt himself relax. The bedroom upstairs had been so full of his own sickening scent, but here it smelled like a comforting alpha. He followed the scent, getting stronger and stronger as he stumbled through the halls. 

Guan Shan started pulling off layers of clothes as he walked. His sweatshirt first, his sweatpants next. By the time he'd reached the source of He Tian's strong scent, unsurprisingly his bedroom, he was left in only his soaked boxers. Without a second thought, he fell onto the bed, closing his eyes and for once in his life, letting himself relax. His tired mind welcomed the embrace of warm chocolate and slipped into relieving sleep. 

********************

Pacing was not something He Tian did. Quietly brooding, however, he was especially good at. 

Currently, the alpha was sat in the living room of his brother and brother-in-law's house, staring pointedly at a crack in a floor tile like it had personally separated him from Guan Shan. 

Qiu was in the kitchen, soundlessly fixing up dinner for the uneasy alpha. 

The front door clicked and the two in the house turned their attention to it, where He Cheng was kicking off his shoes. He had come directly from work, still oblivious to the current situation of his brother. 

It was a mild surprise when he looked up and found He Tian on his sofa with deeply furrowed brows and a vicious scowl. 

"He Tian?", the older alpha started, prompting the boy to explain himself. He Tian preferred a response in the form of silently downcasting of his eyes that suddenly filled with shame. 

He Cheng shrugged, sliding over to the kitchen, faced with Qiu's back. He hugged lightly around his husband's waist, kissing his nape repeatedly as he did. 

"What's the matter with him?" 

Qiu turned around in his arms, briefly returning his husband's affection with a quick peck, "Guan Shan went into heat. He Tian lost it a bit."

He Cheng immediately tensed and an angry darkness swept over his features. 

"He didn't hurt him. Didn't even touch him. That's impressive considering...", Qiu trailed off, relieving some of the reflexive stress that He Cheng immediately adopted when they were talking about his volatile brother. 

"Considering how in love he is." He Cheng nodded in understanding, stepping away from Qiu with a soft hum. 

He stepped into the living room, plopping casually down next to his brother. He Tian was probably blaming himself to an unnecessary extreme, he could see it in the way the usually overly prideful alpha had his head bowed. 

He Tian merely patted him in the back and let some comforting pheromones into the environment. Neither of the brothers was good with emotional expression, but consoling touches they could do. He Cheng got up from the sofa, silently taking the duffel bag from He Tian's hands, a small signal that he could stay for how much ever time he needed to. 

Dinner was a fairly silent affair, the couple quietly exchanging conversation about their days and He Tian sat across them brooding. 

It was a complete surprise when He Tian suddenly looked directly at them and asked, "Do you think Guan Shan will have another alpha over?"

Qiu glanced down at his dinner, and He Cheng felt speechless momentarily. Because the answer to that question was simply unknown. They didn't know Guan Shan well enough to know how he spent his heats. Nor did they know how He Tian would react to the possibility. 

Safely He Cheng went with, "Don't think about it." 

To which the alpha dramatically got out of his chair and stared them both down accusatively. 

He Cheng pulled his brother down by his forearm, speaking to him as he sat, "Okay, we don't know He Tian. Maybe he will, maybe he won't. At the end of the day, it does not concern you." 

That seemed to further rile He Tian. The older alpha challenged his defiance. 

"Guan Shan is not yours. Not even on paper yet. And even when you're married, he will not be expected to play to your whims He Tian. If he wants to have a relationship of any kind with any other person, you do not get a say in the matter. I expect you to respect his decisions." 

He Tian felt speechless at that. He knew of course that Guan Shan wouldn't entertain him and play house with him just because he wanted to. But having the reality rubbed in his face after immersing himself so much into the simple domesticities of them living together was too painful. 

He pushed back the chair and trudged to his room to get a grip on himself. His brother was right; if he didn't want Guan Shan to completely exit his life for good, he would have to agree to the boundaries he'd set. Even if it meant pining over the red-head in secret. 

He Tian flopped down on the mattress in the guest bedroom, his phone held to his chest tightly. He glanced at the picture on his home screen, of the omega leaning in the window, looking off to the side somewhere, hair being ruffled by the breeze. _I won't hurt you,_ the alpha promised himself. 

*****************

The second day was worse. Once the omega had woken up from his deep sleep in He Tian's bed, he found himself soaked in sweat and slick. The bedsheets beneath him were damp through and through. 

Something was definitely wrong with his heat. 

A plan formulated in the omega's head, now he just needed the strength to execute it. Guan Shan sighed, reluctantly jerking off once to release the pressure he felt there. 

With his legs ten times less wobbly, he stood, lightly jogging out of the room to grab his phone from upstairs. Entering his bedroom was simply put, a shitty experience. His scent was so concentrated there that it gave him a headache. The omega spotted his phone on the bedside table, grabbed it, and ran back downstairs to the hive of He Tian's scent. 

He ripped off the soiled sheets in one quick pull, reaching into the cupboard to pull out fresh ones. The pressure on his member was already coming back, the fogginess coming back to his head, so he haphazardly threw it on and collapsed into it. 

Guan Shan steeled himself from the bright light that would come from his phone. He let himself be comforted for a moment by the picture of his mother and him on his lock screen. 

In the next minute, he'd dialed the number. It rang a couple of times before it went through.

"Guan Shan?" He Tian's confused voice came through the speaker, and another wave of calm settled over the omega's body. 

"Hi." The omega couldn't manage to speak much, his mouth absolutely dried out by the fever running through him.

"Is... uh- ... do you need something?" The alpha was completely confused as to why the omega would call him mid-heat. 

"Yes actually." Guan Shan paused for a moment, swallowing his saliva before he continued, "Can you call a doctor?"

He Tian perked up at that, rising out of the guest bedroom and running into the living room, where his brother and Qiu were eating breakfast. 

He put his hand over the receiver and looked at his brother in panic, "He says he needs a doctor." 

"Calm down, He Tian. Talk to him properly before freaking out." 

He Tian brought the phone back to his ear, met with the sound of the omega's pained breathing.

"Are you ... okay?" It was a stupid question, but the alpha didn't know what else to say. 

There was a short laugh and then, "Obviously not, He Tian, if I'm asking for a doctor."

"Right, right, yeah. Of course, um..." The alpha racked his brain for a solution to his fiancee's problem. 

Qiu, bless him, gave him an easy one. "Call Jian Yi. Send him over to the house." 

He Tian nodded thanks to him and ran back to his room. "So we have this family friend doctor sort of person. Should I send him over?" 

"Is he an omega?" 

"Beta" 

"Hmm, good enough. Ask him to come as fast as he can please." 

He Tian couldn't help worrying at the omega's urgency. It must have been really bad for Guan Shan to think of calling him in the first place. 

"Are you in pain?" 

The omega would never usually admit his pain to another person, but after spending time with him, he knew He Tian wouldn't take advantage of his vulnerability like that. 

"More than usual. Something doesn't feel right." 

"Oh... I'm sorry." 

The omega laughed quietly, "What are you sorry for? I'll make you sorry if this doctor doesn't get here fast." 

"Shit, right. I'll call him right away." He Tian had no clue how to comfort the omega even though he wanted to so he just said, "I hope you get well soon." 

The omega laughed again at that juvenile expression and he alpha's clear confusion about the whole situation. He Tian really was quite cute. He wondered why he'd never seen it before. 

He hummed in response and muttered a soft "Bye.", hanging up the phone after He Tian replied the same. 

**************

After about an hour and a half, the doorbell rang. 

Guan Shan wanted to get up, but he couldn't move his body. He panicked about what the doctor would think of him for not getting the door, but that was put to rest when the doctor started yelling. 

"If you can't get up, it's fine! I can call that little bitch He Tian to get the key!" 

His voice sounded young, full of life, and sassiness. Guan Shan had expected an old beta man, this was quite different. 

The omega pulled himself out of the bed with the help of the handles on a nearby cupboard. He looked down at himself and realized the lack of clothes except for soaked boxers. There was a black robe draped over the edge of a chair, probably He Tian's, but he pulled it on anyway. 

He stuck his head out of the window and tried his best to shout back. "Just a second !" 

"SURE!" 

It took a whole three minutes for him to cross the threshold to the door, his feet slowed by the weight of his headache.

He pulled it open and was met with a smiling man that looked to be around his age. He had blonde hair and sharp canines revealed by his casual smile and looked very familiar even to Guan Shan who was half out of his mind. Wait a damn second. 

"Jian Yi ?!?" 

His former batchmate from high school burst out in his characteristic unashamed laughter, pretty eyes curving as he did, "You remember me?! That's awesome." 

Guan Shan was struggling to wrap his head around the fact that He Tian's family doctor was the loud, mischievous boy that used to drag some other poor kid around with him all the time in high school. A sudden wave of heat came over him and he fell against the door, on his way to sliding down to the floor before strong hands gripped his arms and pulled him up. 

"It's really bad huh? Don't worry about it, I'm here to help you out." Jian Yi pulled him against him, holding his waist with an arm and half-dragging the boneless boy to the sofa where he fell with him ungracefully. 

Guan Shan managed a weak laugh and even weaker, "Sorry." 

Jian Yi waved it off with a fluttering hand motion, running back to the door and returning with a bag. He started rummaging through at and pulling things out of it with professional efficiency. 

"Are you comfortable here? Or do you want to move to a bedroom?" 

Guan Shan nodded, hoping Jian Yi understood that he wanted to be in He Tian's room. 

The beta swiftly pulled him up, once again letting Guan Shan rest his body weight against him and pulling him into the very bedroom he wanted to be in. Jian Yi gave him a mildly teasing look when Guan Shan nuzzled He Tian's pillows as he settled. The man left the room, leaving Guan Shan to rest his eyes again. 

After a couple of moments of sounds coming from the kitchen, Jian Yi jogged into the room carrying a thermometer in one hand and a bowl of cold water in the other. 

He set the bowl on the bedside table and gently motioned for Guan Shan to open his mouth so that he could place the thermometer inside. He got to work wringing the towel in the water and placing it over the redhead's forehead. 

The thermometer beeped and Jian Yi's eyes widened as he checked the temperature. "104... Oh boy." 

Guan Shan's eyes crinkled in concern and Jian Yi laughed at his anxious expression. 

"I'm here right. It'll be fine." 

Jian Yi got to work making him more comfortable. He fit the bedsheet as properly as he could and grabbed a scent diffuser to place in the room. He re-dipped the cloth on Guan Shan's forehead every time it warmed up and massaged his temples at the same time. After about ten minutes of watching his condition, Jian Yi had a vague idea of what was happening.

"Why... why does it feel so different this time?" Guan Shan questioned as if he was reading his mind. 

Jian Yi got up from the bed, walking around to his bag as he started explaining, "He Tian and you have been living together for quite some time." He sat back down next to the omega again, handing him pills and helping him get up. "You're very used to each other's scents now." 

Guan Shan swallowed them with a sip of water, not able to understand what Jian Yi was insinuating vaguely, "Well yeah, but why does that mean my heat is more painful?" 

Jian Yi sighed and looked at him directly, "You're not going to like the answer." 

Guan Shan shrugged and slid back down, "Tell me." 

"Um, well... He Tian and you are mates."

Guan Shan's eyes bugged out of his head and he snapped back up to sitting position. "Excuse me ?!"

His hand reflexively went up to his neck, feeling around for the mark that He Tian's mating bite would have left. 

"That asshole, he-" 

"No, no hold on okay. Listen to me." Jian Yi pulled his hand away from his neck. "There's no mark, He Tian wouldn't do that to you without consent." 

"But you said we were mated." 

Jian Yi shook his head, "No I said you were mates. It's somewhat complicated okay." 

He held out his pointer fingers to represent the two of them. "You, right now you smell like He Tian. And He Tian, the last time I met him, smelled like you." 

Guan Shan gave him a look of disbelief. "Well yeah we live together I think that would happen naturally." 

"Yes, naturally, that's the keyword here. Both of you are naturally exhibiting mate behavior. It happens sometimes between alphas and omegas who are close to each other for a period of time." 

No words came to the redhead's mind. 

"I'm guessing He Tian is in love with you..." Jian Yi trailed off, nervously looking at him for a reaction. The omega refused to meet his eyes. 

He continued, "Subconsciously he's behaving like your mate. He's scent marked you and adopted your scent on him. The reason you're heat is so bad this time is because your body thinks he's really your mate on some level." 

Guan Shan's eyebrows furrowed in anger, "He promised me he wouldn't cross that line." 

Jian Yi sighed and nodded, "He hasn't, well not officially. I don't think he's done this intentionally. If he knew he was doing it, he'd definitely stop." 

The redhead looked unsure about believing Jian Yi's defense of He Tian. 

"So what now? I can't be with another person anymore? I need him around for my heats?" His voice came out and annoyed and aggravated. Guan was bitter that this had happened even though he'd tried his best for it not to. 

Jian Yi put an arm on his shoulder reassuringly, "I told you, it's just the illusion your body is falling under. We aren't run completely on instincts, there's a consciousness too. Even though you may impulsively want him right now because of your heat, it doesn't mean that he has any influence over you in the way a mate would. After your heat, the effect will wear off." 

Guan Shan sighed and nodded in relief. 

"It's not permanent. Don't worry." Jian Yi's soothing voice was exactly what the omega needed to calm down from his sudden flare of anger and fright. 

Jian Yi stayed till late in the afternoon, fixing and feeding him lunch while he remained in bed. The pills he'd given him had calmed him down marvelously and Guan Shan learned that he had to switch prescriptions now that he was older. 

In between sheet changes and temperature checks, the men caught up on each other's lives. Guan Shan learned that unsurprisingly Jian Yi, and the boy he dragged around all the time, Zheng Xi apparently, had gotten married two years ago. 

"Could've predicted that. What does he do now?" 

Jian Yi sighed exaggeratedly, "He's an editor, Vice President of his company and all."

"That's nice", Guan Shan laughed at Jian Yi's dramatics, "So how'd you ask him to marry you?" 

Jian Yi looked appalled at that, putting a hand to his chest in a flair of overacting, "How did you know I'm the one that asked?" 

Guan Shan gave him a deadpan look that conveyed everything it needed to. 

Both men laughed, and then Jian Yi launched into an elaborate story about the extensive planning he went through to ask him. The conversation between them was light, and familiar even though they'd never even interacted once before. The blonde man's nature was such that it made people feel secure enough to express themselves. 

Jian Yi only agreed to leave at around 4 PM when Guan Shan pushed him out. Already feeling ten times better now that he had new pills and a new friend, he had the strength to follow him to the door. 

"Oh yeah, I think a nest might help, of He Tian's clothes. You don't have to, but it could make things easier." 

Guan Shan nodded, leaning against the doorframe as Jian Yi pulled on his shoes. 

"Thanks for everything today." 

Jian Yi looked at him seriously for a moment and leaned forward to hug him fiercely. He couldn't help his sympathy towards Guan Shan's whole arrangement with He Tian. It must have been hard for Guan Shan to agree to it and even harder now that he was officially engaged to the man.

"Call me if anything's wrong okay?" He smiled at the boy as he started walking towards the gate. 

"Can I call if something isn't wrong?" Guan Shan asked playfully. 

Jian Yi gave him a kind look, "Of course." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is the wedding!


	10. gōng xǐ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> weddiiingg   
> god i hope i havent let everyone down with this chapter it was so hard to write

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> asdfghjkl sorry i skipped a week in the schedule because i randomly started playing LoL again aghh   
> this chapter was difficult for me, so if it seems a lil vague i apologize  
> i'd appreciate feedback! want more fluff? i can make it happppennn  
> as for the smut we'll just have to wait until momo stops being in denial 
> 
> anywayz enjoy :)

_**gōng xǐ - congratulations** _

Growing up as an omega, Guan Shan had never fantasized about having a grand wedding like the rest of his peers. Rather, he decided early on that it would be a hassle and aimed to put it off for as long as he could. That was exactly why he opened his eyes to his wedding day with a hovering sense of confusion. 

He was roughly woken up by Qiu at 5:30 AM waltzing into his room and telling him to take a shower. The redhead only had a second to pull on a shirt before He Tian was peering over Qiu's shoulder and giving him a giddy smile. 

"Wake up MoMo, we're getting married today!" 

Guan Shan flopped backward with a loud groan, already anticipating how exhausted this day would make him and wanting to burrow under the blankets and remain there.

He was ushered into the shower by an overly enthusiastic He Tian who would have come in with him had he not slammed the door in his face abruptly. The few moments under the hot stream of water allowed him to gather his thoughts. 

The omega was well past the fear of marrying He Tian, probably because they'd been living together for a while already and he was well acquainted with his somewhat non-threatening personality. Even still, his stomach was rolling over itself at the thought of what this meant legally. They would be constitutionally joined together as a couple when they weren't even one romantically. It shouldn't matter, Guan Shan thought, because the change in his legal status would not directly affect his relationship with his husband to be. Or so he hoped. 

He did trust the alpha, a frightening amount for someone with trust issues like his, but being married... the concept itself was intimidating even if he was comfortable with He Tian. His life would change, for sure. A new job which he readily welcomed, but also the countdown on getting pregnant with He Tian's child would start. That part made him flush in distress. 

He finished all his overthinking in the shower and by the time he stepped out in a fluffy blue robe, he had adopted a surface level of calmness. The omega silently vowed to himself that he could not freak out about anything today. The alpha waiting on the bed was mildly surprised by the impassiveness on Guan Shan's face, and slightly disappointed he wasn't equally excited as him. 

He stood as his fiance came out of the bathroom looking delectable with damp red hair and matching redness on his cheeks and nose. The omega quirked an eyebrow at the lingering stare that he gave him, hinting that He Tian should get out. 

The alpha took the cue and made to leave but paused in the doorway and tossed something towards the omega. He smiled unashamedly at Guan Shan like he couldn't help it and closed the door behind him as he ran out. 

He sank onto the bed with the package that He Tian threw at him in his hands. It's several sheets of thick and sturdy paper, bound together cleverly with folds and a ribbon. Guan Shan recognizes them as the wedding cards and schedules that they finalized in shades of light and dark grey. The sheet in front was stark black with shiny silver lettering and the omega appreciated how pretty it looked even though he seldom judged things superficially. 

Their names were printed in a large font next to each other and then under that a date, time, and venue. Guan Shan ran his thumb over the tiny heart between the names and sighed softly. His life really was changing. 

The rest of the pages were littered with stars and in varying shades of grey and it all fit together as beautifully as it was intended. He flipped through them with a heavy feeling in his stomach. There was an agenda printed onto the lightest grey shade, and Guan Shan couldn't help laughing at the customization that was undoubtedly unique to only his. 

He Tian had taken the liberty to draw arrows towards the different times on the list and add helpful information about each event. The space between the top of the card and the first printed sentence was filled with schedules that were only relevant to the groom in messy handwriting. It looked so silly, like a third graders homework, but it was adorable that He Tian had taken the time to help Guan Shan organize his day for him in the form of these notes. 

The random illustrations on the other sheets and the thought of He Tian's sentiment lifted some of the weight off Guan Shan's heart. He closed his eyes for a brief second, steeling himself for the rest of the day and the rest of his life with He Tian. He uttered small reassurances to himself and got up to start the day.

*****************

It was around noon, and Guan Shan hadn't seen He Tian ever since the early morning when he woke him up with Qiu. The omega was so used to his obnoxious presence now that in the roughly eight hours by himself he felt the pressure of his own silence. How had he made such an impact on him, the omega wondered as he was yanked roughly by the people tinkering with his hair. 

It had always been a short mess of unruly spikiness but somehow that as being converted into curly softness. The omega was briefly jealous that he didn't know how to do that himself. Another sharp tug of the straightener that was way too close to his scalp and Guan Shan's face was firmly held in place with the strong grip of one of the assistants. 

While that was happening someone told him to shut his eyes and gave no similar warning about closing his mouth when a bunch of loose powder was thrown onto his face. His body naturally leaned forward to cough it out but he was being held so tightly that he could only manage a few weak barks. 

Twenty more minutes of pulling and prodding later, Guan Shan was thrown into the hands of a different set of people. These people were worse he decided because they told him to change right in front of them and had no hesitation to put their hands all over him to adust the suit correctly. There was more fussing, and many violations of his personal space bubble, and then finally he was thrust in front of a mirror and the team started filtering out the door.

Finally alone, Guan Shan let out the deep sigh he was holding to himself. He'd decided to remain calm, but it was difficult being the center of attention of just ten people for two hours, how would he deal with all the eyes in front of the large number of wedding guests? When he opened his eyes to look at himself in the mirror he was just completely shocked. 

They'd turned him into the picture of a gentle omega. His makeup was in natural browns and beiges that complimented his skin tone. The harshness of his almond-shaped eyes was softened by light brown eyeshadow fading outwards. His nose and his cheekbones were dusted in an orangey-pink that made him look as bashful as he was feeling. His lips were the same orangey-pink but even lighter and it all made the redness of his hair stand out brilliantly. 

His suit was dark grey and not in the gross glossy material that Guan Shan thought looked tacky. It was fitted so perfectly to him. Stretching around his shoulders and pinching his waist with two buttons. He almost felt like he didn't deserve to be wearing it until an unfamiliar emotion of confidence rushed over him. 

He looked good, he admitted. And that was not something he'd ever thought before. He felt special; also a brand new feeling to him. 

Guan Shan found a shy smile spreading across his lips as he acknowledged these facts in his head. He cast his eyes down to his flawlessly polished dress shoes and felt redness creep up his neck and settle around his ears. 

So lost in his rather revolutionary discovery about himself, he startled when he heard the door fall shut. Guan Shan spun around to face a guilty-looking He Tian who motioned at the door like it wasn't his fault.

The omega wasn't usually one for shyness but he turned back around to the mirror and shut his eyes tightly. The emotion was welling up in him at the sight of He Tian because it was all starting to feel real now. 

The warmth at his back and the timid hands on his shoulder's notified him of He Tian's presence behind him. Guan Shan sighed once and then turned around the face the black-haired devil, expecting to see his cocky grin. 

Instead, the alpha was looking at him with a scarily real and raw emotion swimming in his eyes. Besides that, the trembling hands on his shoulders indicated him of He Tian's unexpected nervousness. He looked so young and vulnerable, that Guan Shan found his palm cupping his cheek delicately as a sign of comfort. 

He Tian moved his hands to hold Guan Shan's to his cheek and closed his eyes as if he was about to start crying. 

"I haven't seen you all day. I missed you." His voice was far too weak to belong to him. 

The omega replied, "Hmm", because he was too afraid to say  _ me too.  _ Instead, he rubbed his thumb slowly against He Tian's cheek. It seemed to calm him down, pushing down that overwhelming honest emotion. 

"We should get going right?" Guan Shan said to dispel the feeling surrounding them, abruptly taking his hands away from He Tian's face. The boy gave him a painfully hurt look but snapped out of it before it made either of them uncomfortable. 

He Tian stepped around him to face the mirror and adjusted his bow tie. He was in a well-fitted tux identical to Guan Shan's but his was stark black and made him look dark and powerful, matching his hair.  _ Is that mascara? _ The omega met his eyes in the mirror and smiled cheekily. 

"You look nice." He muttered lightly. 

He Tian choked around his words as he returned the compliment. "Y-Yeah. You too." 

Guan Shan nodded at him with a teasing smile and started for the doors. He was stopped halfway by a hand on his wrist and whirled around to an apologetic looking He Tian. 

"I'm .... uh, gonna have to... kiss you." 

Guan Shan's stomach dropped but he didn't show it on his face. Instead, he faced the alpha with squared shoulders. "Okay." 

"Okay?" He Tian's voice unwantedly got a higher intonation as his eyes widened.

"We've got to sell it right?" The redhead quirked his head at He Tian who looked like he was about to either break a chair or break down crying. 

"U-Uh yes." 

Guan Shan grabbed his hand and thrust open the doors with a sudden burst of confidence. 

"Well then let's do this." 

***************

_ Oh God, Oh fuck.  _

Guan Shan could feel sweat roll from his hair down his back. He was hyperventilating as discreetly as he could as he stood facing He Tian on the altar. His fiance and almost-husband looked unrealistically cold and powerful. The omega recognized it as his well-known public persona and could have laughed at how much more high maintenance this idiot actually was. 

He Tian met his eyes and gave him a cheeky wink to which Guan Shan dug his nails into his hands which he was holding. The alpha winced lightly but winked with the other eye even as 200 pairs of eyes stared attentively at the two. 

The pastor was between them saying some tedious vows and Guan Shan suddenly remembered that he never did dedicate himself to a particular religion and that neither had He Tian. Then why was this happening in a church? He smiled lightly himself and He Tian squeezed his hands in question. 

The pastor suddenly cleared his throat and started the last few lines of wedding vows that were recognizable to anyone who had ever watched a romantic movie. 

"Do you take this man to your husband?" he questioned in a sober voice, facing He Tian. 

"I do." The alpha said in a voice that surged with confidence. 

The pastor turned to a less sure looking Guan Shan and asked the same. 

"I do.", He said, and his voice trembled but he forced himself to keep his eyes on He Tians. 

"You may now kiss each other." 

Guan Shan's stomach flip-flopped violently as he furrowed his eyebrows, the false surety he'd shown He Tian earlier completely gone. 

He Tian suddenly looked much more mature that Guan Shan had ever recalled seeing him. he looked so reliable in that moment that omega's stomach settled and just allowed He Tian to take the responsibility from him. 

The alpha squeezed his husband's hands lightly once before disconnecting them. He slid one solid arm around Guan Shan's waist, pulling him against his chest. The other cleverly cupped his cheek so that the anticipating audience wouldn't see their lips connect. The omega took one sharp intake of air and in the next second He Tian had put his lips against his. 

His lips were impossibly soft, and the alpha pecked them a little deeper than necessary. Guan Shan unsurprisingly didn't return the pressure but just let himself be kissed. He Tian couldn't help himself from pressing another shorter kiss to his lips before he completely pulled away. 

It had felt like they had been standing there forever. He Tian's arm around his waist and Guan Shan's hands resting on his chest. They stared at each other for longer than they'd kissed, both pairs of eyes filled with questions to each other and unsureness about what the future meant for them together. 

They only broke apart, even then slowly, when the whole audience broke into cheers, applause filling the wide wedding hall. 

It was like Guan Shan had been underwater, the sounds surrounding him getting louder and louder as he broke the surface of his own thoughts. 

He Tian held his hand, one between them, and turned to the audience with a wide, showy smile. Guan Shan found it hard to tear his eyes away from He Tian's profile but eventually focused on the people before them. 

His mother was right at the front, between He Cheng and Qiu. She held an arm of each of them, staying upright with their support as she beamed tearily at her son. She looked beautiful and proud in a deep purple dress and Guan Shan felt tears fill his eyes as he looked at her. Despite himself, they spilled down his cheeks and He Tian looked over in concern. The omega simply wrapped his hand around He Tian's forearm and patted it. 

There was a party afterward. A huge reception in a massive hall. So many people, so much food and loud, festive music. Unfortunately, his duties to pacify the higher-ups of the company started right then. 

He Tian and Guan Shan made a full round the hall talking to several grumpy looking businessmen. A couple of them were nice and one happy looking lady pinched their cheeks simultaneously as she laughed and said that they went well together.

The omega blushed as a ridiculous smile overtook He Tian's face.

One of the people they came across was He Tian's ex-boyfriend and his father who happened to be a major shareholder in the company. They both looked at the alpha with barely concealed disdain while he laughed nervously. Guan Shan expressed his own disappointment and tsk-ed as they walked away earning him an offended look from He Tian. 

They finally reached their own table and Guan Shan plopped down tiredly next to his mother. He bent his head onto the table and his mother's hand almost immediately began stroking his hair in comfort. His eyes closed but then he forced them open when he smelled incoming food. 

He Tian was walking over to their table, He Cheng at his elbow, both brothers bearing plates piled with food. 

Qiu grabbed one from He Cheng as he reached the table, and He Tian set one down in front of Guan Shan and one in front of his mom, before plopping down next to the omega. 

The plate in front of Guan Shan was stacked high with a bunch of absolutely random foods. He realized He Tian probably didn't know what to get him. 

"What about you?" Guan Shan questioned as he started eating, his now-husband was the only one at the table without a dinner plate. 

"Shit, right." He muttered and walked off to get some food for himself. 

The rest of the night was decent. Guan Shan had been allowed a break and stayed at the table with his mom and He Cheng. Qiu wandered off at some point in their conversation. 

Surprisingly they all got along well. Guan Shan had already known He Cheng was alright to talk to but he didn't know what it meant in the context of his mother with him. They seemed to relate, maybe too well about the difficulties of raising a child. In He Cheng's case the child being his brother. 

At a particularly embarrassing topic of the conversation when they started exchanging storied of He Tian and him as children, Guan Shan left the table. 

The number of guests in the hall had been dwindling from a hundred to fifty to thirty, to now about fifteen people. He assumed Qiu and He Tian were discreetly herding everyone out but he couldn't have been more wrong. 

When he found them standing by the chocolate fountain, greedily dipping various crackers and marshmallows in on sticks and eating them with a frightening speed he laughed fully, not even bothering to hide it. 

Both fully grown adults turned to him with chocolate around their mouths and fingers. Guan Shan gave them an accusative eyebrow and they had the shame to bow their heads. 

He walked over to them, still chuckling, eyes almost closed at how amusing he found them. 

He stopped in front of his husband and did nothing to stop his laughing. He Tian shoved one last marshmallow into his mouth and turned to face him properly. Qiu stood next to him, discreetly trying to grab tissues and clean himself up. 

Guan Shan grabbed one and took He Tian's soiled hands in his, giggling slightly. He began wiping them while He Tian looked at him like he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar, which technically he had.

"You're such a child, oh my god." He said, shaking his head as he turned over his hands and wiped the back. 

He heard laughing behind him and turned his head to see He Cheng and his mom looking at Qiu who was similarly trying to clean himself of the chocolatey evidence. 

A warm feeling filled Guan Shan's chest as he looked at the picture of them. His mother was pulling wet wipes out of her purse and handing them to He Cheng whose eyes were glued to Qiu in deep adoration and concentration. He Tian in front of him let himself laugh at how ridiculous they looked. 

It really did feel like they were a family.


	11. mamihlapinatapei

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the wedding night ehe  
> definitely not what u think tho sorryy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhhhhhhh i had midterms and whatnot, a very difficult time indeed  
> i'll try to stick to my once a week thing but can't promise much  
> hope you'll stick with me, enjoy :_)

**_mamihlapinatapai: The wordless, meaningful look shared by two people who both desire to initiate something, but are both reluctant to do so._ **

The ceremony had been jam-packed with people, the reception that took place afterward as well. There had been crowds surrounding the couple all night long that they hadn't really had the chance to look at each other. Guan Shan was incredibly grateful for that though. He took the hecticness of the day as an excuse not to confront the change of status in their relationship. 

Currently, they were on their way back home and the newly married omega was shaking in anxiety. They'd dropped off his mom at the hospital before and now they sat in uncomfortable silence. There was no way He Tian didn't pick up on the tension radiating off of his husband, and it was starting to make him agitated as well. 

The car stopped at a signal, they had to wait for the light to turn green so they could hurry up and go home to their separate rooms. Guan Shan decided to pick at his fingernails in deep faux concentration, and He Tian assumed the vital role of staring hard at the red light until it turned green.

Once it did, they were off again and He Tian could pretend to be very focused on driving even though it was an empty road. Guan Shan watched the city line go by outside the window and sighed deeply. It wasn't supposed to be like this. He'd become so comfortable with He Tian over the last month that he forgot about the pressure of being actually married to him. He'd wanted to keep things as non-awkward as possible because he knew that once it became awkward, there was room to think about what else they could be. The casual persona he repeatedly tried to adopt was impossible to keep up in the stress-filled atmosphere of the car. 

"I'm sorry" 

He Tian whispered the words so low that Guan Shan took a second to process them before snapping his head to him. 

He Tian met his eyes briefly before turning them back to the road, "This is weird right?" 

No words came to the omega's head. He just looked down at his hands in his lap. 

"Hey don't just stay silent. You're always nagging. Do that now." He Tian groaned and shook his head in the confusion of how to overcome the uncomfortableness he was feeling.

Guan Shan was shaken out of his daze and gradually sat more upright in his seat. He looked around slowly a couple of times before finally managing to look at He Tian. "Uh, do you want to get a drink?" 

He Tian turned to face him at that. He looked surprised but after a second, "At a bar?" 

"No, I can't deal with more people tonight. Let's just buy some alcohol and go home." 

He Tian stared at him with a strange emotion in his eyes that Guan Shan could not understand at all. 

The alpha put his hand behind his neck and ruffled the back of his hair like a teenage boy before nodding unsurely at Guan Shan. 

Five minutes later they'd pulled into the parking lot of a liquor shop that was somehow still open at midnight. He Tian told him to wait in the car and ran into the store. He came out jogging lightly towards the car with a huge plastic bag full of alcohol. 

"Here, hold this.", he passed Guan Shan the bag who settled it on his lap. The bottles clinked against each other as they pulled back onto the road.

When they finally got home, the awkwardness had begun wearing off, and the tiredness was setting in. Guan Shan was too exhausted to be anxious, so he ran upstairs and changed into a light t-shirt and shorts. He pulled on a black sweater in case he got cold before coming back down. 

_I hate He Tian, I really do._

The infuriatingly narcissistic alpha was in a pair of low-rise sweatpants and an extremely tight tank top. Guan Shan couldn't even stop his eyes from roaming over the definition of his body that the t-shirt clung to. 

He shook his head at the alpha but didn't say anything as he walked up to the bottles that he'd put out across the table. He Tian's eyes widened as he grabbed the large vodka bottle and headed onto the backyard patio. 

He Tian followed him with a six-pack of beer. The omega was leaning against the wall, his knees pulled to his chest, and his arm around them. In the other hand was the open bottle of vodka that he tipped into his mouth. 

"Are you just going to drink straight vodka?" He Tian questioned as he slid down next to him. 

Guan Shan's face scrunched up at the strength of the drink before throwing a mischievous smile to his husband. 

He Tian chuckled lowly and cracked open a beer can. He downed half of it in one sip before he decided to finally confront their mutual weirdness towards each other. 

"I'm sorry this has to be so weird." 

Guan Shan, whose eyes were closed due to the taste of vodka on his tongue, took a second before glancing over at him. 

"It doesn't have to be."

He Tian looked away at that and hummed without understanding what he meant. 

"I've been really stressed all-day. So many things to do, so many people to meet. Not to mention that I'm now officially a married man." Guan Shan stated as he took another swig. 

He Tian pulled the bottle from him. "Yeah, it is weird that we're married now." 

Guan Shan laughed and slumped further against the wall, "Right! We don't even know each other that well." 

"I mean... I don't think that matters though." He Tian said nervously. Guan Shan gave him a look of disbelief. 

"We can get along, and we don't have any problems living together so technically it doesn't matter if we know each other well or not." 

"Who said I don't have problems living with you?" Guan Shan mumbled in a surprisingly childish manner and then giggled. His cheeks were going slightly red from just chugging vodka like that. 

He Tian looked over and laughed at him. "Oh really, and what issue do you have with me as your housemate and husband ?" The mood had turned playful, the alcohol lightening the weight of their worries. 

Guan Shan furrowed his eyebrows, regaining some control over his brain as he was forced to think of a reason that He Tian sucked. 

"Uhhh, Oh! You never put your clothes in the damn laundry basket. It's not that hard, it's like right there." 

He Tian laughed and rebutted. "You wake up too early on weekends and make so much noise in the kitchen, that I have to wake up too." His face wrinkled in mock accusation, "The weekends are when I catch up on sleep!" 

Guan Shan grinned at him, leaning slightly closer involuntarily. "Hmm, then what about the fact that you have the appetite of a literal five-year-old. It's so hard to get you to eat your damn vegetables." 

He Tian laughed with Guan Shan until the omega's head fell on his shoulder. 

The alcohol must have got to his brain because he forgot that he was supposed to hide his affection for the omega, "Well, you're way too cute and it bothers me. So..." 

The omega looked up with him with an accusative eyebrow. "Are you kidding me? You're the one that goes around dripping sex appeal everywhere. Tell me, do you have something against shirts that aren't skin-tight." 

He Tian's fuckboy persona turned on in a matter of seconds, and he leaned down to whisper in the omega's ear, "Does that mean you think I'm attractive?" 

He'd expected Guan Shan to push him off roughly but instead, he angled his face to He Tian's and stared at him with brown eyes filled with barely concealed lust. 

"Yeah, obviously.", and then to undercut the meaning of his previous sentence, "asshole." 

A growl sounded low in the alpha's throat. Guan Shan was right in front of him, shining red lips parted and slightly unfocused eyes staring up at him. He Tian felt himself grow in his pants. 

Guan Shan's eyes closed and he leaned into the alpha. Their lips pressed together and he responded reflexively, gently bobbing his head against Guan Shan's in a series of shallow open-mouthed kisses. He felt the omega move against his chest and woke up out of the shock of the moment. He Tian groaned at the amount of restraint he had to enforce to pull away.

_Shit. Holy fuck. Don't be a fucking dickhead._

Reason set into his brain and he pulled his face away abruptly and sat straight. He scooted several inches away from Guan Shan who was looking at him with a mildly annoyed expression. 

Did that mean he wanted something to happen between them? He Tian's erection was very excited at the thought. The less stupid side of his brain allowed shame to set in. 

Guan Shan was looking at him inquisitively like he was working out something in his head. He Tian glanced away and closed his eyes to rid himself of the perverted thoughts and will his erection to go down. 

"Uhh, maybe we should go to sleep now." He Tian said half-heartedly. He'd wanted this for so long that even as he tried to sound sure of his decision, it came out quietly.

Guan Shan's hands came up to his shoulders and then they were cupping his cheeks and forcing him to face him. 

He Tian's eyes darted anywhere but the omega, partly in embarrassment that he would notice his erection.

He could have either fainted or pounced on the boy right there, but his conscience still tickled lightly. "You're drunk, you'll regret this." 

Surely enough, the drunk omega gave him a dazed look. 

He Tian was struggling to keep it together at this point. This was everything he ever wanted but it was under completely wrong circumstances. 

Guan Shan's mouth was so close to his again, only a breath away.

"Okay. Nope. This can't happen right now." He Tian said as he roughly pushed the redhead's face away. He lifted himself off of the ground and then squatted down to pick up the redhead. 

Guan Shan looked strangely emotional like he was about to start crying about something. He Tian ignored it and lifted the man into his arms, ironically, bridal style. 

They moved into the house and He Tian gently put Guan Shan down on the couch as he ran outside to clear up. He turned off the lights and went back to Guan Shan who was now sitting up. And wow did he look angry. 

He Tian winced and tried to reach for him, but the omega gave him a glare that made his hand pause in the air. _He can't seriously be mad that I stopped that right?_

The alpha got no indication of the answer as Guan Shan pushed past him and went for the stairs. He decided not to go help him as he tripped up the stairs because he was very clearly mad at him. And also He Tian desperately needed to put some space between them. 

He shuffled uncomfortably to his room with his erection weighing heavily between his legs and making him feel very guilty. His real problem with Guan Shan as a housemate was that he was always casually wearing his clothes. Even just then, it had been hard to suppress the flare of pride and possessiveness that came over him when he saw Guan Shan in his sweater, fingers swallowed by the sleeves. 

He Tian didn't bother with a shower, just fell onto the bed and put his hand in his pants as he thought about what could have happened. 


	12. update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> update about updating

i'm sorry omg  
i got so caught up in college work that i didn't even realise i hadn't updated in a month  
to anyone who was waiting, ahhhhh sorry i feel so bad   
i just wanted to write this note to explain that it might take me some time to update and time in between updates  
y'all are so nice and understanding and if you've decided to stick with me then THANKS


	13. midnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> filler chap ? hangover feels ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im back from the ded!   
> things have been so hectic for me recently and i couldn't motivate myself to write this :(  
> sorry everyone, i hope u enjoy this chap   
> this is just a filler so i could bridge the gap between the last time i posted and now   
> hopefully, I'll be able to update soon with something more eventful

Only minutes after waking up, Guan Shan was assaulted by a colossal headache. Whether it was caused by last night's drinking activities or the remembrance of last night's kissing activities was up to discussion. 

The redhead groaned and threw the covers back, dragging himself to the bathroom where he leaned heavily against the sink to support himself. His head, heavy with a nasty hangover, hit the mirror with a loud thud that somewhat woke him up. 

His phone chimed from the inside of the bathtub and he wondered how it got there before recalling crawling in there to cry last night. Remembering this fact, he looked at his face in the mirror, and sure enough, his eyes were puffy and red. The furrow in his eyebrow deepened. 

_ Fuck it.  _

Guan Shan had always believed that bathtubs were a waste of water, but nevertheless, he stripped and sat in his while warm water rose around him slowly. 

_ What the hell was I thinking last night?  _ No matter how long it had been since Guan Shan had gotten off, he shouldn't have been that horny for He Tian. As he recalled the memory of their brief kiss tho, Guan Shan felt his cheeks heating up and his stomach swirling. Strangely, he didn't feel an ounce of regret. He'd wanted that, he realized. He had wanted to kiss He Tian again after doing it on the altar. The more he let himself think, the further from kissing it got until Guan Shan's cheeks were practically the same temperature as the water around him. 

He glanced at his phone screen and saw 3 missed calls from Jian Yi and about 10 excited texts. With his dry hand, he picked up the phone and clicked on the texts. 

Jian Yi:  _ Baaaabeee ^^ _

Jian Yi:  _ It's your wedding night ;) _

Jian Yi:  _ I hope you're getting some from that sexy, new husband of yourssss _

Jian Yi:  _ Man, he's seriously in love with you. You should have seen how he was looking at you all night. I thought I was in a shojo anime.  _

Jian Yi:  _ Ok Ok don't reply to me, I expect you'll be too busy anyway hehehe _

Guan Shan rolled his eyes, but then thought about "getting some" from He Tian in his wedding suit and panicked so hard he almost dropped the phone into the water. Damn, his imagination was certainly very active this morning. 

There were a few texts from 4 AM at night that he continued to read after recovering his sanity a little bit. 

Jian Yi:  _ ARE YOU PREGNANT???? _

Jian Yi:  _ DAMN I HOPE (your babies would be the cutest lil dumplings) _

Jian Yi:  _ Wait why is he at He Cheng's house rn? Ge texted me that He Tian randomly showed up at his door and to check if you were okay? _

Jian Yi:  _ Guan Shan are you okay? Did something happen last night?  _

Jian Yi:  _ Ahhh, I'm coming over tmr morning.  _

Guan Shan peeked at the time. It was only 8 AM, he doubted Jian Yi would be awake so early after staying up till 4. His mind started turning, thinking about why He Tian would run to his brother's place. Nevertheless, the pressure of interacting with He Tian after what he did last night was slightly relieved. 

Setting his phone on the side of the tub, Guan Shan took a deep, calming breath and sank under the warm water. 

** Last Night, 3:32 AM **

He Tian could not calm down. So far he had displayed immense control in keeping his hands off Guan Shan, but... kissing him was the gateway drug and the alpha wanted nothing more than to climb into the redhead's bed and hug him all night. 

He paced in his room, and when the urge to touch Guan Shan got too strong, he started pacing by the staircase. Eventually, he was just walking up and down the stairs. On his 7th lap, he stopped and sat down. Looking at his phone was a stupid idea, because there his omega was, smiling innocently. 

He Tian shook his head and pulled up his chat with his brother. 

He Tian:  _ You awake?  _

There was silence for a whole ten minutes. The alpha spent the time staring at his wallpaper. 

He Cheng:  _ What do you want, He Tian? It's 4:12 AM.  _

He Tian:  _ Why are you awake then huh?  _

He Cheng:  _ Did you text me for a reason or did you just miss me?  _

He Tian:  _ I can't sleep.  _

He Cheng:  _ Why?  _

He Tian:  _ Well, Guan Shan got drunk and kissed me and now I can't control the thoughts in my brain _

He Cheng: ...

He Cheng:  _ Watch a movie, listen to music or go to sleep _

He Cheng:  _ I'm busy right now, so I will be going _

He Tian:  _ Wtf? With what? _

He Cheng:  _ The thoughts in your brain.  _

He Tian:  _ EW, GROSS _

He Tian:  _ I'm coming over tho, so you have like 20 minutes :)  _

He Cheng:  _ I hope Guan Shan never reciprocates your feelings.  _

He Tian laughed at his brother's response and picked himself up off the stairs to go get changed. 

****************

The glare in He Cheng's eyes was formidable enough to induce full-body shivers, but He Tian ignored it in favor of casually walking past him and entering the house. 

"Ah, hi Qiu." He Tian waved to the man who was smoking on the balcony. 

"Would you like to watch a movie with us, He Tian?" Qiu said politely as he put out his cigarette. He plopped onto the sofa next to a disgruntled looking He Cheng. 

He Tian smiled, forgetting his mind's heated debate about whether to confess to Guan Shan properly or not. Instead, he focused on sitting right between the married couple and hogging the popcorn all night. 


	14. shouganai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> he tian is a bit of a coward it seems   
> guan shan is opening up sdfghjkl woo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohhh whats this ? another update   
> hehe hi guysss, i was randomly inspired by some fanart on ig and decided to write this immediately   
> hope y'all enjoyyy

_**shouganai - “It cannot be helped.”** _

He Tian's absence from their house was a very welcome thing to Guan Shan. Especially after he realized that his otherwise neutral feelings about the man were a bit of a mess. He stayed in the tub until he was wrinkly like a raisin, just thinking and thinking and thinking. Despite the time he had to work out his feelings, he still hadn't and was now in a state of complete confusion about what he actually wanted. 

Jian Yi's appearance was an amazing distraction. The bright energy ball of a man twirled into Guan Shan's kitchen and bothered him the entire time they made breakfast. By the time he had set the table, his head was full of daily anecdotes from Jian Yi's life. 

"And then, Zheng Xi said he wasn't mad at me for knocking over the fish tank because I was so pretty." 

Guan Shan gave him a look, "Did he really?" 

The beta laughed and sat down, "No but he implied it" 

They started eating in silence and Jian Yi went through his bowl and a second refill with a speed that matched He Tians. After he was done though, he started staring curiously at the omega opposite him. 

Guan Shan took his time eating, ignoring the weird looks he was getting from Jian Yi. 

"Do you want something?", he asked finally when he had finished and set his bowl down. The beta looked ready to burst with curiosity. 

"WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?" 

Guan Shan laughed at his excitement and then quietened as he tried to remember the events exactly. 

Jian Yi bounced next to him like he was watching a drama. Guan Shan laughed again and decided to just tell it to him frankly. Jian Yi was the last person who would judge him. 

"I got drunk last night and came on to He Tian." 

The beta's eyes widened dramatically. "Okay and what exactly does that entail?" 

"Um, I kissed him, and then..." Guan cringed as he remembered He Tian pulling away but still trying to follow after him, "he put distance between us but..." 

Guan Shan put his head in his hands, "I tried to kiss him again?" he said with a question in his voice, because he could not believe that he had done that. 

"OH.MY.GOD." Jian Yi stood up and held Guan Shan's cheeks in his hand so he could look him directly in the eyes. 

"I was drunk okay, it's, uh, not a big deal", Even as he said it he didn't believe it. 

Jian Yi's eyebrows shot up with many implications. He started wriggling them and then winked at him and then smiled devilishly. 

His voice was high with insinuation, "MoMo, do you  _ like  _ like He Tian?" 

Guan Shan flustered at the possibility and choked around his words, "Um, no. Probably not right?" 

He looked at Jian Yi, whose eyes were accusative. 

"Okay, I will admit that I'm attracted to him. He's, ahem, quite good looking." 

Jian Yi rolled his eyes, "Boy, please. I think he's attractive and I'm a married man. Anyone who has seen him is attracted to him."

Guan Shan looked at him unsurely and then sighed deeply. "I don't know Jian Yi, I really don't." 

Jian Yi dropped the silliness in his face and turned serious. Despite knowing Guan Shan wasn't a fan of skinship, he hugged him lightly, while patting his head. 

"Aw well, that's okay. Whatever it is, I'm sure your marriage will be fine. You're both adults anyway and He Tian has more self-control than you'd think." 

Guan Shan hummed, actually grateful for Jian Yi's support and presence. With that, they dropped the topic of He Tian for the rest of the day. 

Jian Yi stayed till late in the afternoon. They baked a batch of cupcakes because the beta asked Guan Shan to teach him how to. He planned on giving them to his husband as a present. 

After that, they gardened and when they got too tired, they lay down in the grass and stared at the sky while Jian Yi filled the silence with his loud voice. 

When he left, Guan Shan's mood was drastically elevated, and he felt productive enough to continue studying the company materials that He Cheng had dropped off earlier in the week. 

Despite the ongoing hurricane in his brain, he was genuinely excited about the job he would start next week. The materials were interesting and no matter how long he had been cooking for, he always found it fun. Guan Shan never guessed he would actually have another opportunity to do something that made him happy. 

Around 9 PM, Guan Shan started to wonder where He Tian was. He had just finished making dinner and glanced at the clock to notice how late it was. He thought about calling him for a second, dismissing the idea quickly after flushing from head to toe at the thought of interacting with his husband again. 

The omega shook it off, finishing dinner while watching the first thing that came on TV and then heading to bed early. It was better if he didn't have to see He Tian in this confused state anyway...

...is what he thought previously. But now, three days later and the alpha hadn't shown up at home. Guan Shan had not heard a single word from either of the brothers or even Qiu. At first, he spent the time practicing recipes that he would be doing in the kitchen. He lost himself in coming up with new ideas for the whole second day he was gone. On some level, he was trying to ignore the sting he felt from He Tian's sudden absence. 

At 5 PM on the third day, however, Guan Shan had had enough. While he dreaded seeing He Tian two days ago, now his bashful highschooler type feelings had worn off and he was mildly annoyed that He Tian was being such a big baby. 

Guan Shan changed quickly, picked up the house keys from the counter, and marched out the door. An idea struck him in the driveway, and he changed course from going to He Cheng's house to somewhere else. 

Efficiently, the omega picked up everything he needed, dropped it off at home first, and then got in a cab, heading to his original destination. 

*********

Even Qiu was sick of He Tian at this point, and the man had endless patience. He Cheng was silently annoyed at his brother's behavior as well, and it showed in how aggressively he flopped onto the bed next to Qiu who was reading. 

Qiu looked at his husband and smiled discreetly. He Cheng looked back and squirmed till his head was in Qiu's lap. 

"When are they going to make up goddammit?" He Cheng said, eyes going narrow and eyebrows bunching together. 

The other man only laughed and stroked a hand through his husband's hair. "I'm a bit tired of it too." 

He Cheng shot up randomly and pulled Qiu into a kiss. It was quite strong, and it hurt a little bit when he bit his lip for no reason. 

Qiu felt a hand go up his shirt and feel around his torso. He broke the kiss, recognizing this pattern from a difficult time in the company. 

"We're not having sex because you're stressed out He Cheng. Calm down." Even as he held the alpha's head at a distance, he attempted to move forward and connect their lips again. 

The black-haired man growled under his breath and actually started looking mad about being held back. Qiu was just about to give in to his husband's weird coping strategy when the doorbell rang. He nudged He Cheng to go get it.

"He Tian better not have ordered beef stew again, I fucking swear to god." The alpha muttered under his breath as he walked towards the door. 

His eyes widened when he opened it to see an angry-looking Guan Shan standing there with his arms crossed. 

"Guan Shan..." 

"Where's that idiot?" The redhead cut right to the chase. 

He Tian was briefly confused but then realized that Guan Shan was their savior from the He Tian/ Beef Stew hell. 

"Taking a shower I think", he opened the door wider to let the boy in, "you can wait in his bedroom." 

The omega thanked him by briefly nodding his head before he marched to where he assumed the guest bedroom was. Sure enough, he could hear the shower running. He shut the door and sat down on the bed to wait. 

There was a heap of clothes piled on a chair that He Tian was probably too lazy to fold, so Guan Shan spent the time by doing it for him. Halfway through folding an expensive-looking black button-up, He Tian stepped out of the bathroom. 

The alpha froze, only wearing a towel around his waist. He clutched the hem of the towel tighter and stared at Guan Shan in complete shock. 

Casually, the redhead set aside the shirt and looked at his husband in the eyes. He Tian suddenly became very conscious of his half-naked state with the sharp gaze he was being given. 

Graciously, the omega tossed him a light blue t-shirt. When he was done putting it on, he tossed him boxers and a pair of black shorts and then twisted his body to face the wall while he got changed. 

So far, neither of them had said a word. 

He Tian looked like he was about to be reprimanded by a teacher, and Guan Shan was not having it. 

"Sit down. Stop acting like that." His words came out more angry than he intended. 

The nervousness in He Tian's face was alleviated, replaced by confused eyebrows on hearing such a rough tone from the otherwise patient redhead. 

"You're mad." He stated as he realized it for himself.

"Of course I'm fucking mad." Guan Shan answered harshly. "You just ran away like that." 

He Tian looked down instead of meeting his husband's accusative gaze. 

"Sorry", he muttered quietly, and even he realized there wasn't much sincerity in it.

"Justify yourself or something at least. Okay fine, I'm sorry I got drunk and kissed you. But seriously? You're just going to leave and not come back for three days?" Guan Shan stood up, getting more heated as he thought about it. 

"I knew you were immature He Tian, but running away like a teenager doesn't solve shit. You could have at least texted me that you wanted space. One text! I didn't hear a single word from you." 

He Tian opened his mouth to defend himself but closed it when he realized he was getting sort of angry as well. Maybe not at Guan Shan himself, but the whole situation they were in. 

"Did you even think about what I felt? I felt like such a damn idiot for doing that! Why couldn't you just confront me about it?" 

He Tian rose and glared back, "Confront you about it? About what ?! You've made it clear that you don't have feelings for me and I'm trying my fucking best to respect that." 

Guan Shan gave him a disbelieving look that further riled him up. 

"What the hell do you want from me?" He Tian growled. 

"For you to stop acting like a kid.", the omegas voice was slightly condescending. 

"It's not that easy! I'm in love with you Guan Shan, though you probably already realized. There are things I want to do, and I'm not confident about stopping myself from doing them. I just- Fuck." 

There was perfect silence between them for a while. Guan Shan was trying to process what he said, even though he had known it for some time. He Tian felt all the anger leave him, and he felt exhausted by his random confession, slightly paranoid too, that the redhead would divorce him. 

The guilt for raising his voice overpowered the rest of his feelings and he broke the quiet by apologizing, "I'm sorry, Guan Shan. I can't control myself around you at all." 

Guan Shan nodded at the apology, "I'm sorry for getting angry. I was just ...kind of hurt when you didn't come back for so long."

He Tian hummed, accepting the apology, and then turned awkward. Once again the urge to hug Guan Shan was unbelievable. 

"What ... What exactly did you mean by 'things you want to do'?"

The alpha's mood lightened in a matter of seconds and he gave his husband a deadpan look. "Should I sign you up for a sex-ed class Guan Shan?"

The omega smiled, but somewhat seriously as he sat down on the bed. 

"He Tian, I'm going to be honest right now." 

The alpha nodded, although he was confused. He sat across Guan Shan. 

"I've been re-thinking my strict boundaries on this relationship." 

He Tian's eyes lit up immediately. 

"Hold on. don't get excited. All I'm saying is that I'm thinking about things, and I don't have an answer yet. This doesn't mean we're romantically involved now either. Just... don't run away from me again." 

More silence filled the room as He Tian tried to understand what this meant for them. 

"I have a few questions. One, does this mean I can touch you whenever I want now?" 

Guan Shan narrowed his eyebrows but then, "Hmm, yes in moderation." 

"Amazing, okay. Two, can I kiss you?" 

"No. If we... kiss, I will be the one who initiates it."

"Fair enough. Three, based on your last answer this is already sort of answered but, sex is...?" 

"Off the table. For now. And I still prefer being alone during my heats. If I do ask you to spend it with me though, it should be when I'm in my right mind." 

"Makes sense." He Tian beamed at him, innocently like a child. "Thanks, Guan Shan." 

"I- I guess.", he moved to get up, "we should get going now, I have something for you at home." 

The omega started walking to the door when he felt He Tian tug his waist with one strong arm. He was pulled into a tight hug. The alpha's head was buried in his neck. 

"He Tian?" 

"I just felt like we should do this after we fought." 

Guan Shan smiled into his husband's chest, wrapping his arms around him to reciprocate the hug. They stood like that for a few moments, diffusing comforting scents around each other to wash away bad feelings.

"Alright let's go, you big sap."

"Okay but one sec." He Tian pulled back to look at him in the face and smiled the most breathtakingly beautiful smile that Guan Shan had ever seen. 

"I love you, MoMo." 

Guan Shan felt his stomach flutter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wonder what momo's surprise is ^^

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading :) 
> 
> comment and kudos if you likey


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